


pipe dream

by johnyongclub



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic, NCT (Band)
Genre: Blood and Violence, Blow Jobs, Character Death, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, Exy (All For The Game), Frottage, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mental Health Issues, Murder, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Smoking, Sports, Trauma, Twins, johncas get one twin each, twins!taeyong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:54:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 36,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28937337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnyongclub/pseuds/johnyongclub
Summary: When he falls asleep that night, Taeyong dreams of having a hand to hold and happiness has the face of Johnny Suh.
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Lee Taeyong/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 83





	pipe dream

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm back with another fic that is completely self-indulgent. This is set in the AFTG Universe (if you don't know it, it's a trilogy by Nora Sakavic).
> 
> This is my first time writing a sports fic so please forgive me for mistakes. I talked about most of these ideas with my sister so writing it was fun.
> 
> Please also note that there are multiple **TRIGGER WARNINGS** in this that includes **abuse, sexual assault, drug use, death and violence,** though most are implied or mentioned. If any of these are triggering for you, please **DO NOT** proceed.
> 
> Keep in mind that these characters are fictional and are not based on real life personalities. I love every one of them and this is pure fiction.
> 
> If you decide to read, thank you and enjoy. Happy 2021.

Taeyong's focus is singled out on the ball, not the rude words his mark from the opposing team is throwing at him with intention to distract or the way his twin brother is staring intensely, expecting not to be disappointed, expecting so much all the time. 

His grip on his racquet tightens and he ignores Coach Nakamoto when he bangs at the glass wall for his attention, clearly wanting him to go against what he had planned. It's a risky move, he knows, but throwing the ball right at Jeong Jaehyun, one of their backliners, would secure a sure goal, if Wong Yukhei or Johnny Suh are good enough strikers like Coach thinks they are. As a dealer himself, Taeyong needs only to pass the ball to a striker or a backliner, who will be protecting the goal. Ty, pronounced 'tie', his twin, stands as the team's goalkeeper and Taeyong knows Ty would be able to block every goal the other team would try to make because Ty is _good._

It feels like a movie's slow motion as he passes the ball to Jaehyun, who's quick to throw it to Yukhei. The Bearcats' striker crashes against Yukhei with brute force, stealing the ball and making a straight aim right at the net. Taeyong shouts Ty's name but his twin is already focused. He hits the ball away and Wendy easily catches, passing it over to Hendery, who throws the ball with a shout of Johnny's name.

Johnny scores. The Foxes win by six-three, to the Bearcats' dismay. Coach Nakamoto wears a prideful grin as all of them step out of the Exy court but he still drops Taeyong five extra laps before Monday's practice.

He doesn't care. They won tonight, even though it had only been a friendly game between the two colleges. If they keep winning, the chances of making it to finals when the season starts would increase. Taeyong doesn't want it half as bad as Ty does and on a normal day, he'd claim to even resent his own twin, but on the exy court, they're a team.

And he wouldn't admit this, but Ty is his brother, the only family he has left. Making the people he cares about happy is something he blames his mother for passing it down to him and clearly Ty inherited none of her good will, because as soon as they were all back in the locker room, Ty completely ignores Taeyong's existence. 

"That was awesome, Taeyong," Taeil is saying, his grin stretching from ear to ear as he removes his armor. 

Taeyong smiles back, lips parting to speak but Johnny beats him to it. "That was risky and actually quite foolish. You got lucky we were already ahead of them."

"Don't be so harsh, Suh," Their captain and son of Coach Nakamoto, Yuta, speaks up, his voice firm even though he keeps a small smile on his lips. "We won tonight. And it's a friendly match. Put that energy away at least for now."

Johnny makes a noncommittal noise in his throat and turns away before he storms into the showers. Taeyong watches him disappear into one of the stalls, certain that the animosity Johnny almost always smacks in his face is borderline personal, even though he has no idea what he'd done to piss off the striker. 

Almost naturally, Taeyong turns to find his twin, who's seated on the bench still in his orange uniform with his head tilted just slightly as he listens to Yukhei talk. Their eyes meet when Ty notices Taeyong's staring. They stare at each other for an endless minute, Ty wearing an unimpressed expression and it's Taeyong that looks away first, jaw clenching as he grabs a towel to head for a shower and wishing he could ignore Ty the way Ty seems to ignore him easily.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The story goes way back. Taeyong grew up in a small apartment under his mother's care, spending ten years thinking he was an only child and that his father had gone to heaven too early. 

On his eleventh birthday, his mother didn't wake up from her sleep and after her funeral, a week later, her lawyer sat him down with news; he has a twin brother and a father who will take him under his roof until he turns a legal age. Shock had been an emotion that couldn't come close to how he had felt back then, seated on the couch his mother loved to nap on, trying to register the fact that he has a brother. 

It took a month for the lawyer to arrange everything and while waiting, Taeyong had stayed over at his Aunt Alice's. He had considered asking for her to be his legal guardian, at least until he turned eighteen, but the gnawing need to get to know his other half had kept him awake most nights and he hadn't been able to say anything until the day he had to leave.

Meeting Ty was life changing. Up until the moment they were standing face to face, some parts of him hadn't wanted to believe that it was real. But being there, in a stranger's house he's supposed to call home, looking into the eyes of his twin brother, an exact mirror image of him, Taeyong thought he might faint. 

They had both had their natural dark hair then, thin and scrawny but while Taeyong had held his eyes wide and curious, Ty was unbothered, looking as if he would rather be somewhere else. The only stark difference to them back then was that Taeyong stood there with all the innocence of his youth, while Ty closed in on himself, scarred and battered.

Taeyong hadn't understood until he truly settled in.

Ty didn't speak to him but Taeyong's lawyer told him Ty was named Taeyong too, shortened into just Ty, a name he had chosen for himself. The question stuck to Taeyong for days and days; why had their parents named them _both_ Taeyong? He thought it was a little sickening and unfair and wished his mother was around to explain everything. 

His father, on the other hand, spent the next few months looking guilty and he struggled to look at Taeyong, as if he doesn't look exactly like the son he'd raised. Ty's stepmother, too, wasn't exactly a decent woman and she had made it clear that she didn't like that there was another mouth to feed.

Taeyong had thought she would be kind to Ty at least, but on their twelfth birthday, a year later, Ty wasn't allowed out of his room because he'd accidentally broken one of her vases. Taeyong didn't see his brother for an entire day, disappointed that he couldn't wish a happy birthday, and when Ty showed up at the dining table the morning after for breakfast, he sported an array of purpling bruises on the side of his face.

When Taeyong had dared to ask, Ty cursed his name and told him to mind his business. 

At fourteen, Ty barged into Taeyong's room for the first time in the two years since Taeyong moved in, tossing box dye onto his desk with a glowering scowl. Taeyong had been trying to study, even though the swelling on his right eye had made it almost difficult. Their stepmother's ring always hits where it would hurt and he had bled from it this time, though that's probably from the glass she smacked onto his face for not helping her on time. One of her handiwork would leave evidence that is stuck with him for life, now sitting at the corner of his eye in a rose-shaped scar.

"We're going platinum," Ty had said, locking the door behind him and he spent the next five hours working on Taeyong's hair until it was completely destroyed with bleach and everything else he was using.

That night, Ty made Taeyong stay up so he could help Ty change his hair from a dark brown to almost white And later, they'd stood in the bathroom and stared in the mirror for an endless minute. If their different shades of brown hair had differentiated them before, their platinum blondes make them hard to tell apart. Before Taeyong settled in for bed, Ty hesitated at his door and Taeyong didn't turn the light off until Ty spoke.

"You're coming to practice with me tomorrow," Ty said. 

Taeyong realized Ty doesn't ever ask; just demands. He had mutedly agreed anyway, desperate for some kind of connection to his brother and he'd like to think that that's how he'd made it to Palmetto State University, by earning a place in the Exy team, the Foxes, because he was good in his position just as Ty was good in his.

But everyone knows the Foxes house only lost causes. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


As much as Taeyong and Ty don't get along, he hasn't been apart from his twin since the day Ty botched his hair. He'd had it fixed since then, even in color and no longer the work of an inexperienced and angry fourteen year old.

Taeyong's seated on the couch in the living space of their dorm now, enjoying the weekend off with a game controller in hand and mind set on winning this particular match. His focus is distracted when the door to the shared room opens and Yukhei is storming out of the suite with a slam to the door. Soon after, Ty steps out of the room as well but instead of going after his not-so-secret beau, he plops down next to Taeyong but doesn't say a word. 

Like many, many times before, Taeyong starts the conversation. "What's up with him?"

Ty turns his head to look at Taeyong for a second, seeming uninterested as ever. "Drama queen."

Taeyong scoffs, knowing better than to press the subject, especially if Ty doesn't seem to want to elaborate. Instead he turns his attention back on the screen of the TV and is about to restart the game when Ty picks up the other controller and joins. They play in silence for another hour and a half.

By the time Ty decides he's bored of defeating Taeyong in the game numerous times, he gets off the couch to brew coffee. Just as he heads towards the kitchenette, the door opens and their third roommate stalks in with a wide grin stretched from ear to ear. Taeyong's pretty sure Coach Nakamoto assigned Doyoung as their middleground solely for the fact that Ty doesn't care enough about Doyoung to worry if he would ever be a problem to Taeyong.

Their relationship is odd, Ty and Taeyong; he knows for a fact that Ty brought him to his Exy practice that first day so Taeyong didn't have to be alone at home with their stepmother. He had even noticed her calling his name when she hit Ty and his brother hadn't corrected her, which led him to believe the reason he had them color their hair was so that she couldn't tell them apart. 

They had never spoken of it but Taeyong had picked up Ty's silence to allude her into thinking he was Ty from time to time. He didn't have the scar by his eye until he was fourteen, the day Ty barged into his room, but even then she hadn't been able to tell them apart. It worked but Ty wasn't amused.

Taeyong smiles because Doyoung's grin is infectious. "What's gotten you in such a good mood?"

Doyoung shrugs but he still makes sure to look at the scar by Taeyong's eye to make sure it isn't Ty pulling another one of his twin tricks. "Talked to Jaehyun about tutoring me in biochem and he agreed. How was your morning?"

He lifts the controller in hand and gestured towards the kitchen with his chin, where Ty is staring at the smooth surface of the wall. "Just gaming. Any plans for the weekend?"

"Johnny wants to practice so I might tag along," Doyoung says, glancing over at Ty for a second. "Do you think you'd be up for some of that?"

Taeyong clicks his tongue. "You forget Johnny hates me."

"Johnny hates your guts," Doyoung corrects him, smart enough to know not to take Ty's seat on the couch and settling on the beanbag on the other side of Taeyong. "And your brother. He hates that you follow him around."

Taeyong isn't offended; he's pretty sure everyone hates that but he shrugs anyway. "He's my brother."

"He also thinks you don't have a true passion for Exy," Doyoung adds. "He thinks you're just here for Ty."

 _Now_ Taeyong is offended, just by a slight. Johnny doesn't know him or even try enough to make that assumption. Sure he isn't as passionate as Ty is but he had played this sport since before high school and all through college until today. He'd graduate next year and he doesn't see himself giving Exy up any time in the near future. 

"If he's so unhappy, he can take it up with me," Ty said, appearing from the kitchenette to look at Doyoung. "We'll see what he thinks then after I'm through with him."

Taeyong is quick to mellow the threat by turning back to Doyoung. "Tell Johnny to fuck off my back, will you? I haven't done anything to give him a reason to doubt me. You've seen how I did on the court. Have I ever disappointed anyone in the team?"

Doyoung's lips part but Ty speaks up again, "We'll go to practice with you lot tomorrow. I'd actually like to wipe that smug off Suh's annoying face."

Taeyong frowns, not liking the idea but he hopes Yukhei would come with. If anyone could get through to Ty, it'd be his boyfriend and Yukhei is pretty close to Johnny to not want Ty to break his nose. "Yukhei coming?"

Ty shrugs, reminding Taeyong that the tall striker had stormed out earlier, which means they might have been in a fight. It's Doyoung that speaks next, "You know Yukhei and Johnny practice together all the time so yeah, he will."

"Okay," Taeyong nods, leaning back to go back to his game, jaw clenched. "I'll show Johnny he's wrong."

He doesn't see it, really, but in his peripheral vision, Taeyong could swear he catches a glimpse of a smile on Ty's lips. It's enough to have pride bloom in his chest. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


"Oh, great," Johnny mutters as soon as he sees Taeyong file into the locker room after Doyoung, his gaze hardened when he finds Ty not too far behind.

Even Yukhei seems surprised to find Ty there, so Taeyong assumes Ty hadn't bothered to mention it to him. Taeyong eyes Johnny, a smirk at the corner of his lips as he opens his locker door to retrieve his gear. "Don't be so surprised, John. Last I checked, the court's for all of us to share."

"Not on Sundays," Johnny retorts. "On Sundays, the court is mine and whoever I invite to practice. I don't remember inviting you and your monster brother."

Ty slams his locker shut. "Should I remind you what it feels like to be benched for two weeks straight, Suh? You know you didn't fall and sprain that ankle last semester."

Johnny scowls, glowering at Ty but not angry enough to rile the older twin up even further. He's already geared up in their orange jersey and he doesn't waste another second lingering in the locker room, storming out to show just how much of a bad mood he's in now. Taeyong ignores him and the confirmation that Ty had just admitted to causing Johnny to be left out from practices after he'd shoved Taeyong a little too hard last year. 

"I didn't know you were coming to practice with us," Yukhei speaks up, unafraid as he walks over to Ty's locker. "You didn't answer my messages."

Taeyong looks away when Ty glances at him, listening while he takes out his gear and uniform. Ty is silent for a few moments before he says; "Didn't feel like it."

Yukhei sighs, sounding frustrated but not looking half as annoyed as Taeyong had thought he would be. He would never understand what Yukhei thinks would come out of their relationship but he assumes there must be something Ty shows Yukhei that he doesn't show anyone else. Even now, with Ty's short and curt responses, Yukhei still clings to him.

He ignores them and goes to change into his gear. By the time he is ready, Ty is still taking his sweet time and Yukhei doesn't go to find Johnny, lingering behind like he's on a leash. Doyoung is in one of the stalls, so Taeyong makes his way out onto the court, grumbling to himself when he sees Johnny already within the glass walls. 

Exy is an interesting sport, in Taeyong's opinion. It's an evolved version of lacrosse with the violence of ice hockey, played within a soccer-sized court within walls and ceilings made of plexiglass so the audience are spared from the brutal hit of a stray ball. He hadn't understood it when he had first stepped onto the court back in then and Ty was too impatient to explain but watching tapes and his teammates play was mesmerizing and Taeyong had fallen in love with the sport within the next month of joining the team.

He doesn't know what exactly made him want to do better but knowing Ty wants to be Court after college and watching him be so good at it instilled a fear in Taeyong that he wouldn't be able to be with his brother when the day comes. They aren't best friends but they look out for each other. Taeyong doesn't know why Ty bothers but either way, he knows he'd go to lengths to keep Ty safe.

Johnny notices him when he looks up and he doesn't bother hiding his displeasure as Taeyong steps onto the court. They don't talk because Johnny is a childish asshole and Taeyong thinks he's not worth wasting his breath on. Eventually, it's Johnny that breaks the silence.

"I'm actually surprised your brother isn't locked up somewhere," He says, barely a murmur, as if afraid Ty might hear him. 

Taeyong scoffs. "Are you gonna make sure he will be? Because I think that would be a problem."

" _He's_ a problem," Johnny hisses.

"Listen, Suh," Taeyong sighs even though he tightens his grip around his racquet. "I don't have anything personal against you or whatever it is that you're dealing with that's making you resentful of me. But keep Ty out of your mouth, okay? He's not a problem until you give him a reason to be a problem."

Johnny is scowling. He's always fucking scowling. "Are you seriously saying he's some kind of a guard dog? Did he sprain my fucking ankle because I called your game weak?"

From his peripheral vision, Taeyong could see Ty lingering just outside the glass wall, waiting to see if Johnny would lay a hand on him. "You touched me. You should know better than to do that, Johnny."

" _What?!_ " Johnny half laughs, out of complete disbelief and then realization as he remembers what happened. "Because I - God, you have issues. Both of you."

Taeyong shrugs just as Ty, Yukhei and Doyoung join them. He doesn't look at the three and keeps his gaze locked to Johnny's. "Just don't give him a reason to be a problem."

"Who's the problem?" Ty speaks up, smiling so uncharacteristically that it unnerves even Taeyong. "Oh, right, that's me. You got any reason to make me one now, Suh?"

"Whatever," Johnny turns away and they scatter to start with warming up. 

Scrimmages are always hard but Johnny makes it harder today. Taeyong and the rest of the team knows Johnny's brain doesn't stretch too far from Exy and it shows just by the way he's spending his Sundays on the court instead of doing other things that normal students do on a weekend. Taeyong doesn't think this would be a new normal for him and Ty.

Johnny steers clear of Taeyong and his twin whenever he could but he puts all his negative feelings into the scrimmage, which is unfortunate for Yukhei because he's playing the opposing striker so Johnny had crashed into him one time too many. It wasn't too smart, because Ty cradles Yukhei like a baby under his watch but smart enough because Ty couldn't hurt Johnny if it's all for the game. 

By the time Johnny calls it a day, Taeyong is regretting letting his ego drive him and coming to practice on a Sunday when he could have spent the day catching up with sleep. He's exhausted as he padded into the locker room, dropping himself down onto the bench to catch his breath. 

Ty plops down next to him and the two watch as Yukhei, Johnny and Doyoung disappear into the stalls for a needed shower. They're silent for a moment before Ty speaks.

"Let me wear your uniform tomorrow," He says, causing Taeyong to look at him with a frown. 

"What for?"

Ty suppresses the twitch of his lips, hiding a smile. "Just wanna talk to John Suh. He won't talk to me, he'd talk to you."

Taeyong looks away, straight out at the stalls with his jaw clenched. Nothing good comes out of them switching places and he _doesn't_ want Ty to hurt Johnny again, no matter how much it frustrates him that Johnny hates him. "Just talk?"

"Just talk, brother," Ty assures him, not that Taeyong believes it for even a second. "I wouldn't want to hurt your favorite Exy player now, would I?"

Another frown deepens on Taeyong's forehead, "What the fuck does that mean?"

Ty shrugs, getting off the bench to grab his towel. "You don't think I notice how you watch him play whenever we're sitting as subs during games?"

"So what?" Taeyong gets up too, defensive. "He's an asshole but he's still a good player."

His twin hums, "My point exactly. Don't worry, my sweet little brother. I just want to talk."

With that, Ty stalks off into one of the stalls and Taeyong knows he probably won't hear his brother speak to him again in the near future. It's almost like he has a limited amount of words to say to Taeyong and most of the time he's run out of them whenever he ignores Taeyong's presence.

He hasn't even agreed to switching places but he knows Ty's already made up his mind. Sometimes Taeyong forgets that Ty doesn't ask, just demands. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


The Foxes contain twelve team members this year, a pleasant increase of number when compared to the amount of people Palmetto State University's Exy team had in the past. It is understandable, given the fact that the previous coach and Nakamoto both share the principle of recruiting players that come from different, difficult backgrounds. 

Their captain excluded, Johnny Suh wears a proud number '02' on his jersey, leading striker and the best player in their team. Johnny is a closed book, as far as Taeyong knows, and the only thing the rest of the team knows about him is that he had played Exy since he was in juvie. Johnny wasn't secretive about losing his parents to a car crash when he was fourteen and his rebel years were spent at juvie, where he was allowed to join an Exy team there. 

Johnny stands at six foot tall, natural brown hair kept a little long, enough to touch his nape and a body to kill for. Taeyong appreciates hard work when it's due and Johnny works out for his stamina and that body. He has whisker lines on his cheeks in the rare times that he does laugh, often whenever he's around Yukhei and Doyoung. 

Number three is one of their goalkeepers, Moon Taeil. Taeil is graduating this year, a student acing the subjects he'd taken and a player with a sure path to Court, the national Exy team. One tiny problem, however; Taeil has commitment issues. He had only made it this far with the Foxes because he loves them and he owes it to Coach Nakamoto for giving him a place to call home. But without the Foxes when he makes Court and playing with a different coach, Taeil had many times expressed how he thinks it would be a problem but it's up to Coach to talk him into signing with the national team.

Lee Taeyong, the first twin, also named Ty, is number four. He's the best goalkeeper in the team, before Taeil and Sooyoung. His background goes way back, to years and years before Taeyong came into the picture. Taeyong has a gnawing feeling that Ty had endured more than he let on, living with their abusive stepmother. Up to this day, Ty speaks only to the team's psychiatrist, Dr. Kwon Bo-ah. 

Taeyong comes at number five. Defensive dealer, a rising player, if he could say so for himself. Taeyong doesn't know why Coach Nakamoto chose to recruit him when they recruited Ty into the team. It could possibly be for the fact that he's almost as broken as Ty is, or that Nakamoto saw potential in him or maybe even for the sole reason of Ty not letting Taeyong get out of his sight. 

He hopes it isn't the latter; knowing he only got into the team because Ty wouldn't if he doesn't would sting. 

Sixth goes to Hendery, their offensive dealer and a freshman Coach had picked out at the start of the semester, someone Taeyong had unofficially taken under his wing though it's merely for the sole reason that they are the dealers of the team. Hendery is an okay kid, unashamed about the track marks that litter his arms. He's been clean for two years.

Seven, eight and nine are Wendy, Sooyoung and Seulgi, the only female teammates to make this batch of Foxes. The three of them had come from the same foster family. Seulgi, the backliner with the temper. Sooyoung, the goalkeeper with her pretty smile and her ability to sway just about anyone to her side. And Wendy, the offensive dealer with the big heart. Her kindness knows no boundaries.

Yukhei's jersey is a proud '10', striker, vice-captain and the only one who could get through to Ty. His history is an open book, especially since he was the talk of town when he was caught in a gang fight, resulting in a few deaths from the opposing gang. Yukhei was fifteen then, and after trials and investigations, he was proven not guilty of any murder but he spent his remaining youth in the same juvie Johnny went to.

It's exactly why the two are tight, closer than Taeyong and Ty could ever be. Taeyong wouldn't say he wasn't jealous of that bond, wishing he could share something like that with Ty.

Wishful thinking never gets him anywhere, though.

The remaining two are Jeong Jaehyun and Kim Doyoung, number eleven and twelve. Jaehyun is a backliner, a sweet dimpled boy who is not only soft-spoken and seemingly innocent but also a fierce player when he's within the Exy court.. He carries such an aura to him that Taeyong sometimes feels drawn to, just moments before he remembers that getting close to people means giving room for pain when they do leave. And everyone leaves. 

The fear is gnawing and often reminded when Ty pulls him into their shared bathroom to touch up their dyed locks, his silence loud enough for Taeyong to remember that there could be no one else. That it will always be just the two of them. He wonders if it's changed now that Yukhei is in the picture. 

The last but not the least player is Doyoung. Backliner, proud and Taeyong is pretty sure the only one whose childhood was fairly decent. He'd been recruited to join the Foxes for his skills alone and Doyoung is very, very good. 

None of them are amateurs but Taeyong knows they need work to make it to championships. In three months, the exy season will begin and the Foxes are expected to at least make it to the semifinals. With their unlikely teamwork, however, Taeyong has doubts. 

The _talk_ Ty wanted to have with Johnny only lasted a good two minutes. Apparently Johnny was only fooled for a second before he noticed that he wasn't speaking to Taeyong but Ty. The rest of the two minutes were spent with Ty laughing at whatever Johnny was spewing at him.

Taeyong had watched from outside the wall with a sigh. Something about witnessing the exchange between his brother and teammate planted a deep want within him for them to be different individuals and looking exactly like Ty won't help him become a person of his own.

Back in the Fox Tower where their dorm is, long after practice is done and they're about to head to bed, Taeyong's the last to step inside and Doyoung is nowhere in sight so he takes the opportunity to speak up before Ty calls it a night. 

"I think I want to grow my hair out," He says, quietly for fear that it might anger his twin. "I'm getting bored of this one."

Ty doesn't answer or acknowledge that Taeyong had spoken. Instead he busies himself in the kitchenette, opening the fridge to grab a bottle of water that he uncaps and downs in multiple gulps. Taeyong knows better than to press, perching himself on the arm of the couch as he waits.

"Is anyone going to be a problem if you do that?" Ty finally speaks up, casting an unimpressed look at Taeyong. 

Taeyong shrugs, "She can't touch us now, Ty. No one can touch us. You made sure of that."

"Anyone can touch us," Ty says coldly as he steps forward, closing the gap between them and Taeyong has to stand again so they're eye to eye. Ty watches him with cold resolve, lifting a hand to Taeyong's chin and tilting his face from left to right as if to check for injuries even though all Taeyong had done today was practice. He drops his hand, seemingly disappointed to see Taeyong hadn't hit his head too hard. "They will if we let them. Are you going to let them?"

Taeyong clenches his jaw, "No one will touch us. It's over."

Ty gazes at him, almost challenging him to back down. Instead of saying anything, Ty lifts his hand again to cover the rose scar on Taeyong's skin with his thumb. "It's not over until we die. You bring her wherever you go now, don't you? You should have stayed with your aunt."

" _Our_ aunt," Taeyong corrects his brother. "And no. If I had, I wouldn't have been able to save you."

His twin's mouth twitches, "Don't say stupid things. No one saved me. I can't be saved. You should have saved yourself. But how could you have known?"

Taeyong lets his gaze drop at his feet, at Ty's, at the floor, anywhere that isn't the mirror image of his own face. "I don't regret it. We're here now, aren't we? She can't touch us anymore. We won't let anyone touch us."

Ty stares at him for another minute before saying, "You'll make sure they know what comes for them if they try."

As always, it's a command and not a question but Taeyong nods anyway. It's a silent permission for Taeyong to do whatever he wants and he'd be a fool to say anything else and risk Ty changing his mind. They fall into another silence and then Ty turns away and disappears into their shared room. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Growing his hair out doesn't take too long. Ty doesn't comment when he has it dyed a softer blonde nearly two months later, the ends of his hair are already at his nape and his fringe has grown out long enough for him to have to clip it back when it gets annoying. 

The rest of the team, however, don't let him off the hook about the change of appearance. It's all in good nature; they don't say it but the squeeze they give him on the shoulder is a clear enough message that he'd done a good thing. Still, despite his bold decision, Ty is as protective as ever. 

It shouldn't annoy him how closely Ty watches him but at certain points it makes him feel incapable. He's only a few minutes younger than Ty and he could hold his ground in a fight and Ty _knows_ this. Ty knows this because he'd seen with his own eyes how Taeyong took and blew punches when they were high school seniors and some douchebag thought it'd be funny to touch Ty where he shouldn't be touching. 

Ty knows this because the reason Taeyong was suspended from school for two months straight was because he'd broken the school counselor's hand and nose for his dirty, dirty smile and his dirty hands leaving imprints on Ty's skin and a trauma he would never recover from.

The bruises Taeyong brought home resulted in more bruises when their stepmother found out he was fighting in school. It was worth it, even though it was never spoken of ever again. Ty thanked him without words and by then Taeyong had gotten used to his twin's silence to be offended.

They haven't looked this drastically different in years, so it is nearly impossible to shake Ty off his back. The only way he knew how is to stick around in the library because Yukhei seems to be allergic to books and Ty doesn't go anywhere without his beau. 

It's almost nine when Taeyong finally decides to leave the library. He'd spent about two hours there after their afternoon practice catching up with homework and it was a good decision because he probably wouldn't have gotten this much done had he hung out in his dorm room.

Even this late into the night in the middle of the week, there are multiple students still hanging around on campus so Taeyong doesn't feel the need to be wary of his surroundings. It's only when he had to make his way back to the Fox Tower that he had to cross a particularly quieter path but he's so used to it by now that it doesn't deter him. 

With his phone battery drained, Taeyong couldn't listen to his playlist as he walked the quiet path. Most students don't hang around between buildings and since the Fox Tower is beyond the Perimeter Road, it's unlikely that anyone would be around. He would usually ride with Ty back to the athletes dorm tower but since he had avoided his twin, Taeyong would have to go back on foot.

The noises startle him at first, sounding like a bunch of boys making too loud noises in the middle of the night. It isn't until he could see better that he notes a group of them huddled around something or someone. It doesn't take him long to realize they were beating the shit out of the poor person. Taeyong moves on instinct, nevermind the fact that he's obviously outnumbered.

"Hey!" He calls out as he runs towards them, hoping another person's presence would scatter them away. When making himself known only caught their attention, Taeyong quickly braces himself for a fight.

He drops his bag somewhere along the way to dodge a punch and he takes a swing at the man who tried to knock him out. The sound of bone against bone rings loud in his ears as he makes contact. The way his fist starts to throb tells him that he'd gotten a good hit across the male's jaw and it shows in the way the stranger staggered back, angry.

The next punch lands right over his cheekbone and Taeyong falls back with a curse, feeling the familiar cut of a ring gashing his skin. He's up on his feet in a second, albeit a little unsteadily, afraid that being down too long would give the stranger an advantage but as soon as he was up, the group of guys decide they had their fill and he watches as they run off.

His face is numb from the blow, sure to hurt like hell later, but he picks up his bag and rushes over to the person the guys were attacking. He doesn't have to get any closer to recognize the same brown hair and pained scowl he sees every single day at practice.

"Holy shit, Johnny?!" Taeyong gasps as he crouches down next to the striker. It's too dark to see how badly he's injured but from the look on his face, Taeyong doesn't think it's minor. He panics, not knowing what to do but he says, "Can you get up? I'll take you to the hospital."

Johnny hisses when Taeyong tries to move him, shaking his head and then glaring at the sky as he speaks through gritted teeth. "I can't. My leg… I think they broke my leg."

"Shit," Taeyong cusses, looking around them as if doing so could help Johnny. He's much too small to help Johnny up or carry him and he sure as hell can't leave him like this so Taeyong does the next best thing to do. He fishes out his phone and quickly dials for an ambulance. 

The striker is groaning in pain as Taeyong finishes the call. It's only then that he notices the dark streak of blood that's dripping from the gash over Johnny's temple, more from his lip that's busted open, a clear sign that he'd fought back against his attackers, likely defeated when they decide to focus on hurting his leg. 

"How the fuck did this happen, Johnny?" Taeyong asks before he could stop himself, forgetting the fact that this is the one person who doesn't like him in the team. "Why did they do this?" 

Johnny doesn't answer him. He only lifts his head to look at his unmoving foot as if staring hard enough would heal his wound. "I can't be benched for championships. It's not broken, is it? Could you take a look?"

Taeyong blinks at the boy as if he'd grown another head. He doesn't know how to wrap it around his head that Johnny is still thinking about Exy while laying here, broken. He's no doctor but he scoots to take a look anyway. It's too dark to see anything but Johnny's foot is bleeding and it doesn't look too good. He swallows, clenching his jaw. "If you can't move it at all, it might be. You might have a concussion too. The ambulance will be here in a bit."

The tall striker makes a disgruntled noise in his throat, leaning his head back against the brick wall behind him. When he speaks, he sounds almost desperate and close to tears, like he knows it's over without anyone having to say it. 

"They knew it's the most important thing to me," Johnny murmurs in the dead of the night, sounding pained and hopeless. "It's over now, isn't it? It's over for me, Taeyong."

Something like pain spread at Taeyong's chest and it doesn't make sense because he shouldn't give a damn about Johnny. Johnny Suh hates him and avoids him and his brother like a plague. If Taeyong doesn't have an ounce of humanity in him, he probably would have left Johnny here alone. He wonders if Ty would have. He wouldn't be surprised. 

But he had never seen Johnny so vulnerable, so emotionally raw that it flashes in his eyes how much Exy means to him, how much this injury would cost him. They had never spoken before besides to jab at each other, almost always breaking into an unnecessary fight that the team had to break apart. Now, in this moment, he doesn't see the arrogant, self-righteous Johnny Suh he sees on the court.

Now there is only a broken boy and Taeyong is reminded of every time he had felt pain; when his mother died too soon, when his father couldn't look him in the eyes, when Ty ignored him for the first two years he lived with them and for each time their stepmother landed her heavy hand on them and their father had turned a blind eye. It's a stark and sharp realization that Johnny is as young as he is, possibly as lost and angry at the world. 

He clenches his jaw, driven with the need to tell Johnny that it _isn't_ over, that there is hope, so Johnny could hear all the things Taeyong wants someone to tell him. He doesn't think it through when he closes his hand around Johnny's to squeeze and he says the words Ty tells him time and time again. "It's not over yet, Johnny. It's not over until we die."

The flashing red and blue light comes into view before they hear the siren of the ambulance. Johnny doesn't say anything, probably too exhausted after getting so brutally attacked and Taeyong considers staying behind but in the end, he climbs into the ambulance and calls Coach Nakamoto. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Despite his refusal to be tended to, Coach makes him sit down and let a nurse work on his swollen cheek after they make sure he isn't bleeding internally. The pain pales in comparison to the cuts and hits his stepmother had given him through his childhood so Taeyong doesn't see the fuss. 

Coach asked if he wanted to head home and he'd have Yuta come and drive him back to Fox Tower but Taeyong refused. He feels a sense of responsibility, somewhat, and knows he wouldn't be able to sleep well if he wasn't around to see what's happened to Johnny. 

It's midnight when he's startled by Ty's presence, his twin brother looking panicked for once but more angry than anything else. Taeyong gets to his feet as soon as he sees Ty, acting as a barrier between his brother and whoever that's closest he might lash out to. Yukhei is at Ty's tail, as always, and dangerously close but Taeyong doesn't worry about him.

"Hey, Ty," Taeyong tries with a small smile but even the slightest move of his face muscles burns his cheek. "It's late. What are you doing here?"

Ty looks at him like he was stupid but the panic he saw earlier is long gone and his brother's expression returns to its stoic normalcy. He mirrors the act he'd done two months ago, when Taeyong told him he wanted to grow his hair out. Fingers at Taeyong's chin, he inspects his face. 

"Who touched you?"

"Wrong time, wrong place," Taeyong says, even though he doesn't believe he wasn't meant to find Johnny there. "I was on the way back to the dorm and these guys were beating Johnny into pulp, Ty. I had to interfere."

Yukhei visibly flinches at the mention of Johnny's attack, his face pales in color and he looks behind Taeyong at Coach as if to ask a silent question but he doesn't say anything.

"That didn't answer my question," Ty says.

Taeyong sighs, "I don't know who they are. Johnny probably does."

"I'm going to kill him."

"Hey," Yukhei is quick to speak up and it's enough to stop Ty from moving. Taeyong notes that Yukhei doesn't even have to touch his twin for him to reconsider. "I'm sure it's not Johnny's fault, yeah? They must have left when Taeyong got there."

Ty's jaw doesn't unclench but his focus returns to Taeyong, gaze hard and cold as he curls his fingers around the side of Taeyong's neck in a firm grip. "Don't act like a hero, brother. Especially not for him. When we bend and break, he's not going to do the same."

With a couple firm slaps onto Taeyong's neck, Ty turns away and he doesn't wait for Yukhei as he disappears into a corner. Yukhei sends a look at Taeyong, half apologetic, half pleading. 

"Tell Johnny I'll see him first thing after my classes tomorrow?"

Taeyong nods and Yukhei offers him an appreciative smile before he disappears after Ty. It's not for another hour that the doctors finally pulled Coach aside to talk about Johnny's condition and Taeyong doesn't stay to listen. He pushes the door to Johnny's room open and finds the striker already conscious, looking somber and faraway. 

His leg is in a cast, held up by a traction. A bandage covers the gash on his temple and his lip is swelling in blues and reds. He doesn't acknowledge Taeyong's presence and Taeyong has to fight off the phantom voice of Ty's reminder that Johnny doesn't deserve his help.

He doesn't really know what to say but leaving seems like an unlikely option, so he pulls up a chair and sits next to Johnny's bed. It's one in the morning and he has a nine o'clock class later. He should probably head home soon. 

"What you said back there…" Johnny finally speaks up, his voice small and unlike the one he uses when he's screaming across the court, condescending as ever. "You don't understand. This is all I have. I'm nothing without Exy. If I lose this… I have nothing. You wouldn't understand."

Taeyong bites back the retort that's ever ready at the tip of his tongue, so used to fighting Johnny that the first thing his instinct thought of is to come up with an insult. Instead he swallows it down because it isn't Johnny's fault that he doesn't know Taeyong's story, just as he's clueless about Johnny's. He looks at his fingers, flexing them quietly.

"I'm sure once you're all patched up, you'll be able to play again," Taeyong says slowly, trying to phrase his words appropriately. "You haven't lost anything."

Johnny looks away, his fingers twitching where they lay on his stomach. "I can't play anymore."

Taeyong frowns, "You don't know that." 

"I _know_ that," Johnny snaps, his gaze meeting Taeyong's. When he realizes he'd raised his voice, Johnny looks away again, clenching his jaw. "The doctor told me. My ankle is fractured and he mentioned other complications. I can't play anymore. I'm a fucking cripple."

Silence blankets them like a heavy cloud as Taeyong tries to find his voice, his words. He couldn't imagine not being able to play Exy anymore, even though it has never been everything to him, let alone for someone who lives and breathes Exy. He could almost taste Johnny's heartbreak.

"Who were those people?" Taeyong asks instead. "The ones who attacked you. Who were they?"

Johnny refuses to look at Taeyong. "Just some guys."

"Do you know them?"

"Not the ones that attacked me," Johnny shrugs. "But I have a hunch who might have asked them to."

Taeyong frowns again, "Are you going to report this? They could have killed you. Hell, they could get locked up just from attacking you."

"No," Johnny shakes his head. "I don't want the cops involved. It's gonna complicate things. You don't know these people. It doesn't matter anyway. They should have just killed me."

"Johnny," Taeyong warns him, not liking the topic he'd strayed off to. He has a brief moment where he wishes he is as carefree as Ty is about people who don't matter but his mother's human decency stuck with him like a disease. "I know I have no place to tell you how to feel and I'm not going to, but what we both know now is that you're alive and there must be some kind of reason you're still here. You could have lost a leg, they could have hit your head too hard. You could have lost too much blood. But you're here and it's not over until you're dead."

Johnny stares hard at him, as if he would give Taeyong another black eye if he could move. Taeyong expects harsh words at least, but Johnny only asks; "Are those your words or his?"

The question is one he hadn't expected so it shuts him up for a second. He knows Johnny referred to Ty, either because it's something Ty would say or because Taeyong has only ever heard his brother say it. He clenches his jaw and shrugs, "His words, our belief. Does it matter? It's the truth."

The striker scoffs and stares at his own fingers. Taeyong notices that they're trembling. The last time Taeyong had seen his own hands shook was when he had laid in bed, nursing a headache, another cut on his cheek from his stepmother's diamond ring, a long gash over his back from the belt his father whipped over his skin and his fist scalding from the boiling water she dipped his hand into. 

Ty had stood by his bed and stared down at him for a long, long time. He'd disappeared and the cops had come for their parents, but they left unscathed when the uniformed men chose to believe them over Ty and the bruises Taeyong carried. In a way, he understood why Johnny refused to get the FBI involved. 

Taeyong doesn't know what came over him but he reaches over and gives one of Johnny's hands a hard squeeze. "Let me help you."

"You can't help me," Johnny shakes his head, his smile dull and laugh humorless. "You can't give me Exy back."

"Maybe," Taeyong says, letting go of the taller's hand. "But I can be here. I can have your back. I can help you get back into Exy after we get you patched up and good again. It doesn't have to end here, Johnny."

They both know it isn't a promise but it's what Johnny wants to hear. If he thinks he could get back to Exy, Taeyong knows Johnny would work for it. He's silent for so long Taeyong thought the conversation had ended right there, but then he looks up at him and his eyes are hollow and lost, looking so much like the way Taeyong feels inside. "Why would you help me? We're not even friends."

"Why wouldn't I?" His answer came immediately, because he couldn't think of a reason why he would help someone he claims doesn't matter to him. 

"Ty wouldn't. He probably wouldn't let you."

"I'm not Ty," Taeyong says calmly, a little annoyed that he's being compared to his brother over and over again, no matter how much love he has for him. "And I can do whatever I want. The question now is will _you_ let me?"

Johnny looks away, out the window to his left as if there's anything to see in the dark at this time of night. He fiddles with his fingers and when they still don't stop trembling, Taeyong watches as Johnny curls them into the blanket. "You really think I'd be able to play again?"

"I think anything is possible," He murmurs and it isn't a lie because Taeyong believes it. 

They're silent again after that, at least until Coach Nakamoto steps into the room to talk to Johnny about what the doctor had to say, but Taeyong takes Johnny's small smile as agreement and somehow it plants something within Taeyong's chest that feels like purpose. 

He has a purpose and purpose makes him feel like sugar rush. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


The team doesn't take the news well, unsurprisingly. Johnny was their best striker and with him off the team for championships, everyone is tense with the pressure of making it without their number one. Even Yukhei knows he isn't as experienced and as good as Johnny is and Taeyong wonders how Yuta feels but the captain knows the line between being personal and professional.

If he felt any less about how much the team admires Johnny's work, Yuta doesn't show it.

Their first game for the opening of the season is this Friday and they'd be playing a home game against the Jackals, the Exy team of Brackenridge University and the Foxes' biggest rival. The Jackals have the numbers that Foxes lacked but Coach Nakamoto had been confident before that they could win against them. That was when they had Johnny. 

Coach doesn't hide his frustration when Monday practice rolls around. It shows in the angry message he sent everyone, a reminder to be on time and not a second late if they don't want to run an extra ten laps before the day ends. 

It's been two weeks since Johnny was admitted to the hospital and just two days ago, Taeyong had helped him get back to the dorm, wheelchair-bound for now and the foreseeable future. He had made sure to visit Johnny at least once a day in the last two weeks, either after classes or after practice, just to bring him fruits or update him about how the team is doing. Most of the time they don't talk but Johnny tilted his laptop screen whenever he watched an Exy game so Taeyong could watch too. Ty noticed Taeyong's disappearances but he doesn't comment on that either.

With only two classes today, Taeyong could afford to go two doors over to Johnny's room to see if he wants to come and watch them practice. Ty tails behind him and he glances over when Taeyong stops by Johnny's door. When he doesn't make a move to keep going, Taeyong looks at him.

Ty's gaze is cold, as always. "Is he making you his dog or did you make him yours?"

"Fuck you."

Ty laughs, just borderline maniacal. "I'm not the enemy, Taeyong."

"No one is," Taeyong retorts, feeling bold for once. "Johnny's our teammate and he's my friend. I'm just helping him out and unlike you, I don't need to make my friend my bitch for it to work out."

The humor in Ty's features are gone and his mouth twitches in the way Taeyong knows is him showing an ounce of emotions he's still capable of. But, like always, it's masked once again behind the unimpressed look on his face. "Don't come crying to me when it hurts."

With that, Ty turns on his heels and disappears down the stairs. Taeyong doesn't know what Ty had meant but he pushes it aside in favor of knocking on Johnny's door. It opens at the third knock and Taeyong finds Jaehyun with his hair damp, only a towel around his hips. 

"Hey, Yong," Jaehyun greets him with a dimpled grin and a little wink. "Don't think you're here to see your brother-in-law or your unlikely crush, Johnny, so I'm assuming you're here for me?"

Taeyong blinks, failing to find humor in Jaehyun's teasing even though he allows a smile towards the boy, cheeks flushing. "Everything you've just said could have cost you your teeth if Ty was here."

"But he's not, is he?" Jaehyun makes a show of poking his head through the doorway to look at the hallway, getting way too close to Taeyong so Taeyong had to dodge, slipping into the room when Jaehyun's distracted.

"Actually, I'm here for Johnny. He inside?" Taeyong turns his head to find Jaehyun closing the door. 

The younger boy nods towards the shared bedroom. "Sulking. He's been ignoring Yukhei since this morning, wouldn't even tell me if he wants to hitch a ride."

Taeyong nods, reconsidering only for a second before he remembers that he'd made a promise and he is not about to break it. He heads for the bedroom, stopping midstep to turn and ask, "What do you mean my unlikely crush?"

Jaehyun shrugs, a cheeky smile on his lips. "Are you not crushing on Johnny? It's kinda obvious. Everyone knows."

His frown deepens, genuinely confused. "I'm not?"

"So all that fighting wasn't from sexual tension?"

Taeyong parts his lips to speak but thought better of it. Instead he says, "We're friends."

He doesn't wait for Jaehyun to speak before he heads towards Johnny's room, knocking once and then opening to find a frowning Yukhei on one end of the bed and Johnny the other, staring out the window. They both turn when Taeyong opened the door. 

"Good luck trying to get a word out of this guy," Yukhei says sarcastically, throwing a scowl at the older striker as he gets off the bed. "He's been ignoring me the entire day."

Taeyong purses his lips and looks to Johnny, trying his luck, "Hey, Johnny. Do you maybe wanna come with us to practice? You could let us know how we could improve."

He doesn't expect a response but he also didn't think Johnny would look so surprised. He parts his lips and his voice is hoarse when he speaks. "I'd like that."

Yukhei gasps, dramatic as always, in disbelief that Johnny could speak. He shoots a glare at his best friend before he grabs his bag and storms out, presumably to ride in Ty's car. Taeyong ignores Yukhei's dramatic departure, chewing the inside of his cheek as he starts with the bag he'd seen Johnny carry.

"Bringing anything?"

Johnny shakes his head and he grabs for his crutches that have been resting against the drawer next to his bed. "I don't wanna be on this chair. I can walk. I tried."

"I don't remember it being two weeks since you've been discharged," Taeyong says, dropping the bag and crossing his arms over his chest. "What I do remember is the doctor saying, specifically, that you aren't supposed to be on your feet until you start physiotherapy."

"Well, I remember. It's been a month and I started physiotherapy last week," Johnny says, an obvious sarcasm that he knows wouldn't let him off the hook.

Taeyong stares pointedly at him, "Johnny."

The striker scowls, stubbornly positioning the crutches under his arms and he's about to make a move when Taeyong stops him, gently guiding him back on the bed. Johnny huffs, slamming the pair of crutches back against the drawer. "I can't just sit on this damn chair, Taeyong. I gotta get back up on my feet."

"And you will," Taeyong assures him, pulling the folded wheelchair towards Johnny before he assembles it. "Once you start physiotherapy, you'll be able to use these to walk again. You'll be back in no time. You just have to be patient."

Johnny is quiet for a minute and then he says, "Were you patient when you got that scar? It never went away."

Taeyong pauses but he's quick to shake it off. He hadn't cared about his face back then but the idea of carrying a reminder of her for the rest of his life had been tormenting. "I wasn't expecting for it to go away."

The answer seems to have pleased Johnny, in one way or another, because he lets Taeyong help him onto the chair without kicking up another fuss. Jaehyun is waiting outside when he pushes Johnny out into the living room and they wordlessly make their way down to Jaehyun's car, where Doyoung is already waiting. 

Taeyong would usually ride with Ty and Yukhei but it's clear his brother had gone on without him. They help Johnny into the car and then Jaehyun drives them to the court. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Coach is restless at practice after making them run laps, and Johnny keeps a close eye on them during scrimmage. A frustrated Coach is never fun and he's shouting at everyone over the smallest mistakes but he takes it out on his son especially. 

Yuta's tense with the pressure of being Coach's son and the team's captain and Taeyong wonders if he should break character and show some kind of support but the girls are already tasked with it and Taeil is there to remind Yuta he's doing great, so Taeyong lingered behind with Ty. 

Ty, on the other hand, didn't make practice any easier. He blocked every goal they try to make during scrimmage and laughed when he passed the ball back none too gently. All the laughing could only mean that Ty is just as frustrated, though at what exactly, Taeyong doesn't know. One can't ever risk being fooled into thinking Ty's laughter meant he's happy. The mistake could be gravely.

The entire team's tension gets to Taeyong at one point during practice. He feels the pressure of playing without Johnny and how much it would cost if they lost the opening game this Friday. It doesn't help that Johnny seems to have his focus on him instead of ignoring him like he usually would. It makes him just a little self-conscious.

After the grueling practice is finally over, Coach tells them to scram for a quick shower and gather again in the lounge room. Taeyong doesn't waste time after drying up, putting on his clothes and not waiting up on Ty, who seems adamant about not doing what he's been told to do. 

Taeyong is the first one to reach the lounge room, finding Johnny already seated on the couch where he's usually perched during meetings, his wheelchair hidden away. He doesn't look at Taeyong as Taeyong settles down in his seat, probably to avoid getting nagged at for moving too much.

It takes another twenty minutes for everyone to finally gather, the rest settling down in their usual seats. Yukhei is between Ty and Taeyong, the girls together on another seat with Hendery while Johnny, Jaehyun, Doyoung, Taeil and Yuta take up the long couch.

"I'll be straight with all of you," Coach speaks up when he finally joins them. "Your progress is shit and I have serious doubts about winning Friday's game but losing is not an option. I'm gonna have to need someone to sub for Yuta or Yukhei as striker."

The Foxes look to each other, unsure of who would best play striker since everyone is comfortable with their own position. Yuta is the first to speak up on behalf of them, "You got anyone in mind, Coach?"

Coach looks to Johnny, who continues to stare at his feet, no longer the confident, loud-mouthed and opinionated striker they all know. "Johnny thinks Taeyong can go striker."

All heads in the room turn to look at Taeyong but the stares shift when Ty leans forward, almost challengingly.

"In less than a week?" Yukhei asks. "That's too little time to get him used to the racquet and technique. He's gonna struggle on Friday when he steps in."

Johnny looks like he's contemplating on whether or not to speak, as if breaking his silent treatment towards Yukhei would mean he'd lost some kind of bet. He seems to decide against it, letting Coach do the talking. 

"Johnny thinks Taeyong can manage, I agree," Coach nods at Taeyong. "But it all depends on you. Can you do it?"

Taeyong looks at Johnny and their gazes meet for a painstakingly long minute. He doesn't know if Johnny had picked him out of spite or because he genuinely thinks Taeyong has potential but the look in his eyes feels like a challenge and Taeyong doesn't want to back down.

"I'll do my best, Coach."

  
  


* * *

  
  


Agreeing to sub for the strikers in such a short time means Taeyong couldn't afford to get a rest day. In the three days he had until game day, Taeyong went to practice as usual but made it a point to go back to court at night with Johnny, who agreed to help and Ty, who drove them and wouldn't leave Taeyong alone with Johnny as if Johnny isn't bound to a wheelchair. Taeyong only let him because fighting Ty is foolish and he couldn't afford getting benched.

It's Thursday night and with less than twenty-four hours until serve, Taeyong is lowkey panicking. Ty had volunteered to scrimmage with Taeyong while Johnny stayed outside of the court to keep watch, commenting on every flaw Taeyong has in his footwork or the way he held his racquet. 

He's too small-sized to make a good striker and Exy has always been a sport for people with considerable height and while Taeyong isn't _short,_ he isn't tall like Johnny or Yukhei. He had always stood as a dealer, even back when he started. 

His arms feel borderline numb now as he tries to hit a score but with Ty as goalkeeper, it's almost impossible. Johnny bangs on the glass wall for his attention when he fails for the nth time and Taeyong throws his racquet down out of frustration. Ty stares at him for a good minute before he closes the distance between them. 

His twin's hand curled around his nape is a familiar weight and when their foreheads meet, Taeyong tries to even out his breathing, not meeting Ty's gaze.

"Look at me," Ty says in a whisper and when Taeyong doesn't look up, he squeezes his nape. "Hey, look at me, I said."

Taeyong lifts his gaze, breathing still heavy, but he doesn't pull back or look away. "I'm gonna fail the team."

"You are a Fox," Ty reminds him. "We would never have been here if we didn't fail. It won't be the end of the world. It won't be over until it is. Get yourself together."

With a final tap to Taeyong's neck, Ty picks up his racquet and walks out of the court. Taeyong follows him out but he doesn't make his way to the locker room. Instead he drops himself onto one of the seats, close to Johnny, feeling disappointed in himself and defeated even before the game.

Johnny doesn't say anything as they sit there, maybe letting Taeyong calm down first before he starts hounding him for being terrible and letting him down. But a minute or two go by and Taeyong is starting to hate the silence. 

"Is the reason you're not saying anything because you're regretting choosing me?" He asks slowly, looking up at Johnny, who frowns at him. 

The fallen striker shakes his head, "I don't regret it. I think you have potential. It's only been three days."

Taeyong laughs, "I don't think I've ever heard a single nice thing coming out of your mouth. Sounds weird."

"Fuck you," Johnny curses but the corner of his lips tugs up into a tiny smile. "You should head back and get some sleep. You're no use to us if you can't play tomorrow."

"And he's back," Taeyong nods with another laugh, getting up on his feet to make his way over for a shower. He glances back at Johnny, smile on his lips. "You coming?"

Johnny nods, his expression softer than Taeyong has ever seen on him. "I'll be out once you're done with your shower."

"Okay," Taeyong mutters and he doesn't linger behind. His shower is quick and Ty and Johnny are already waiting in the lounge room when he steps out. They lock up and head to Ty's car. The ride home is quiet and exhaustion makes Taeyong forget the nervous breakdown he had earlier over tomorrow's game. Either that, or it's Ty's assurance that it isn't the end of the world. 

But a part of him knows it's knowing Johnny sees a potential in him that makes it all a little more tolerable.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The Foxhole Court was built to seat about sixty-five thousand fans and today, every single seat is taken. Taeyong could hear the thunderous sounds of thousands of feet and voices of the fans, both for the Foxes and the Jackals. It did nothing to calm his nerves but at least his racing heartbeat now stem partly from being nervous but mostly excitement.

Johnny is going public today with his injury and Taeyong feels almost sorry for the fans that came to see him play. The rightful thing for the management to do would have been to tell the fans beforehand about Johnny not taking part in the championships but that could have resulted in many empty seats. Capitalism works in no one's favors.

Coach seems calm as he briefs them through the lineup for the final time. Yukhei, Yuta, Seulgi, Taeil, Jaehyun and Wendy will go for the first half and the rest will go in as subs and second half. Taeyong will join Yukhei for the second half and Ty would stand in as goalkeeper. After the briefing, Coach sends them off to warm up. 

Despite Taeyong's reminders, Johnny abandoned the wheelchair and used the help of the crutches to move about. His pace is slow as he makes his way towards the home bench and the sight of him has gotten many of the fans' attention, the screaming and cheering turning into gasps. Taeyong keeps a close watch as he and the Foxes run laps around the court but when he's too far away to see Johnny, he focuses on the Jackals, their fans a looming sea of tan and black. 

The Foxes' color is a stark contrast to that of the Jackals', their fans covered in bright orange and white from head to toe. Their cheerleaders, the Vixens, do a great job at what they were built to do and fans cheered loudly as their mascot hype the crowd up, pumping up the energy for the game. 

The Foxes return to the locker room to gear up. Serve is in fifteen minutes and Taeyong is buzzing with nerves even though he won't be up until the second half of the game. He looks over at Ty, out of pure habit, because the game cannot start if he isn't convinced his brother is close. Ty drags a cool gaze to him and there's a small tug at his lips.

It's all the encouragement Taeyong needs.

Back outside, he takes his seat next to Johnny while the announcer calls for the first lineup. The subs are to wait out until someone needs to be replaced or until second half and Taeyong watches as Yuta and the Brackenridge's captain, Kim Jongin, tossed a coin to see which team gets first serve.

Yuta wins for the Foxes and then the game begins. Taeyong is on the edge of his seat as he watches the game play out. Not even five minutes into the game, it got violent. With the Jackals' temper and the Foxes' pride, a fight or two is expected but the Jackals' backliner got red carded for throwing the first punch. Jaehyun would feel that pain later but for now he's smiling through his helmet, still in the game.

Even with the energy the Foxes put out, it's not the same without Johnny and by halftime, they were at three-two, Jackals' favor. It doesn't help Taeyong feel any better and instead of feeling motivated, he feels defeated.

"Don't look like you've already lost," Johnny tells him during their fifteen-minute break. To the rest of the team, he says; "We're only one goal away from a tie and if we can score that, we'd have a better chance at beating them tonight. Doyoung and Hendery will step in with Taeyong and Ty. Second half is all we've got so make it count."

The Foxes murmur in agreement, catching their breaths and gulping water to dampen their throats. Taeyong glances over at Ty and notices that his brother is watching their captain. He follows his gaze, finding a rather tensed Yuta, whose cold gaze flickers over to Johnny. With Johnny's back turned so he could speak to Coach, there's no doubt he's clueless.

But Ty is far from clueless and even through his blank stare, Taeyong knows his brother knows more than he let on. 

Coach Nakamoto hurries them out of the locker room back to the court and the second half of the game starts almost immediately. The subs step in to replace the first lineup, leaving only Yukhei, who holds his position as starting striker. Taeyong is a ball of nerves but a single glance at Johnny gives him ground; something about meeting expectations drives him forward, even though he doesn't owe Johnny anything to let him have this win. 

The bell indicates the start of the game and Taeyong shifts his entire focus on winning for his team. Doyoung defends the goal fervently, crashing into the opposing strikers to get them away from the goal. Every one of the Jackals' attempts is blocked by Ty, whose big racquet smacks the ball away each time it comes too close to the button that would score their goal. By the fifteen minute mark, the Jackals' show their frustration with more violence.

Two of them get taken out of court with red cards and Doyoung gets a yellow one. Yukhei scores a goal for the penalty shot and the two teams are at a tie.

Taeyong feels the frustration when his attempts, too, get blocked by the opposing goalkeeper, a loudmouthed senior they all knew as Byun Baekhyun. Taeyong's confidence — or biasness — in Ty makes him think Baekhyun pales in comparison. All that mouth won't secure that win.

Hendery passes the ball to Wendy, back and forth before Hendery catches sight of Taeyong, the closest striker to pass the ball to and he doesn't hesitate. Taeyong catches it in his net but his mark is a bigger, taller man that isn't afraid to use his size against him. He crashes into Taeyong with full speed and Taeyong loses the ball as he smacks against the wall. 

Something in his shoulder popped and he's knocked out of his breath but there's no time to waste. They have a minute left and the Jackals might win. His vision is blurry as he tries to refocus, running up towards the ball with his mark at his back. Hendery gets the ball again and he passes it to Yukhei. Yukhei runs at full speed and Taeyong follows, watching as the taller striker throws the ball at Wendy with a shout of Taeyong's name and the dealer doesn't hesitate as she passes it to Taeyong. His opposing mark, the big guy named Chanyeol, attempts to knock the ball out of his net but Taeyong is smaller and faster, easily outrunning the striker.

He eyes the goal and runs as fast as he could before throwing the ball into the goal and then his ears ring with the buzz as the light blares red. The scoreboard reads four-three, Foxes' favor. He blinks and removes his helmet so he doesn't have to squint through his visor, trying to catch his breath.

His first game as a striker and he scored the winning goal. The smile that stretches at his lips hurts his cheeks and the roar of their fans drown out the screams of his teammates. Taeyong turns his head over to Ty and their gazes meet. His twin raises his big racquet in a salute and Taeyong's smile widens. Something about pleasing Ty, something about not letting Johnny down, even though he owes them nothing. 

The subs enter the court and the rest of them engulf him in a massive hug. Only Johnny stayed outside of the wall with Coach and Ty stayed behind though Taeyong doesn't miss the kiss Yukhei leaves on his twin's cheek. 

It doesn't matter that Ty didn't contribute into the hug, Taeyong thinks the little smile on Ty's lips is enough.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Winning the game on Friday didn't secure their place in the finals but it's a good start, especially for the first game to start off the season. It gave the team motivation to do even better because the taste of victory is addicting and even Taeyong cannot deny how good it feels to do well. 

After the game, the press had swarmed Johnny with the questions they had about his injury. Their victory is overshadowed by the grave news but Taeyong doesn't mind it. He had half expected for Johnny to drop the news that he might not be able to play again but when he watched the interview the next day, Johnny had his smile on and gave no answer to questions pertaining to his future appearances in games. Taeyong thinks he's been told not to say a word.

They have the next week off but practice still goes on every afternoon. Taeyong makes sure to go for night ones as well, most of the time with just Johnny and Ty but sometimes Yukhei tags along to teach Taeyong the drills. Coach had encouraged him to stay a sub for Yukhei and Yuta as a striker and the win last Friday made Taeyong confident. 

Johnny doesn't forget to remind him not to be _too_ confident and while Taeyong would appreciate praise, he knows Johnny is right. It could have been pure luck and if they want to make it to finals and face one of the top three NCAA Exy teams this year, Taeyong can't depend on being good.

He has to be great. 

Palmetto State's Foxes are only a small group of Class 1 Exy team but Taeyong carries pride with being part of Class 1 at all. The big three would be the USC Trojans, Penn State and Edgar Allen's Ravens. Every year, the Ravens stand at number one and it's huge to be dreaming of ever facing the top Exy team but he knows every one of the Foxes dreams it.

With the week off to rest besides classes and usual practice, Coach allowed Taeyong to accompany Johnny to his first physiotherapy session. Ty let him take his car, surprisingly, but Taeyong knows better than to question it. 

The drive to the hospital took forever thanks to the traffic and Johnny is silent through the ride. Taeyong doesn't bother striking up a conversation so he turns up the music and lets the silence be filled with songs he doesn't even like. When he pulls up in the parking lot, Johnny doesn't wait for Taeyong to turn off the ignition before he opens the door and steps out, struggling on his way out.

Cussing low under his breath, Taeyong hurries out of the vehicle to go around it, grabbing the crutches in the back and helping Johnny steady himself with its support. "Your attitude isn't going to make this healing process any easier."

"Fuck you," Johnny mutters, limping off towards the entrance of the hospital without a glance back.

Taeyong is tempted to leave Johnny behind and return the car to Ty but he clenches his jaw and suppresses his anger, going after the male after locking up. When he's close enough to Johnny, he mutters; "You're a piece of shit."

"Then go home," Johnny spits, not sparing a look at Taeyong as he limps through the front entrance. "I didn't ask you to come. No one asked you to get in my business.

Fury feels bitter on his tongue and if Johnny isn't walking on a fucking cast, Taeyong would probably hit him. "Would it kill you to be grateful for once?"

Johnny ignores him in favor of handing his appointment card to the nurse manning the front counter. He smiles at her after she gives him a number and instructions to wait until he's called to see his therapist. Taeyong follows as he finds a seat and he watches as Johnny sighs the moment he settles down. He doesn't seem like he'd bother answering, so Taeyong sits next to him and waits. 

"You should go." Johnny says finally, ten minutes later.

Taeyong shakes his head, "No."

"Why?"

"I made a promise," He says, turning his head to look at Johnny, arms crossed over his chest. "I told you the day you were admitted that I'm gonna be here, didn't I?"

Johnny clenches his jaw, looking away. "I just don't understand."

"What's so hard to understand? Do you break promises you make?"

"That's not what I'm asking," Johnny shoots him an annoyed look. "I don't get why you wanna be some kind of emotional support. You hate me, so why?"

Taeyong frowns, his tense shoulders relaxing just a bit. "I don't hate you. I don't hate anyone."

"Liar," Johnny rolls his eyes, "I give you shit during practice. There's no way you don't hate me."

"You're annoying, sure," Taeyong shrugs. "But you get the team working. No one hates you."

"Ty does.

"Ty hates everyone," Taeyong supplies, telling the truth. "Don't feel so special."

They fall silent for another minute, or a decade, Taeyong couldn't keep track, and then Johnny says, "You still didn't answer me. Why are you volunteering to help me?"

Taeyong thinks this through. Telling Johnny that having purpose helps make him feel alive is a territory he doesn't think he wants to cross just yet. Their friendship needs work and to dive right into his internal problems seems a bit much. But how well can it work if he hides parts of himself? 

Everyone knows Ty sees their team's psychiatrist weekly and Taeyong and the rest of the Foxes once every semester but that's only because he'd refused to see Dr. Kwon to talk to her about his life. She probably already knows, since it isn't that much different from Ty's, minus the suicide attempts and prolonged trauma from all the abuse. 

Taeyong lived with their abusive father and stepmother for seven years; Ty did for eighteen. Not to mention the abuse by the school counselor and no one knows how long that might have lasted. The difference is a mile gap, but surprisingly, Taeyong is less keen about seeing Dr. Kwon than Ty is. He doesn't know what they talk about in her office but he can't imagine being in there for more than five minutes. The half an hour he spent there every semester is enough for the experience to last until the next. 

"I just-" Taeyong starts, clearing his throat so his voice won't betray him. "Let's just say I would have appreciated having someone doing it for me, at some point in my life. Someone who isn't paid to be there for me. I'd like to be that someone to you. I found you there, Johnny. I saw how much loss you felt when you were sitting there and it wasn't the pain that bothered you. Someone else would have passed out or cried or told me to hurry up and take them to the hospital. You sat there and the first thing you told me was that you can't be benched for championships.

"Who even thinks about championships with a fractured foot, Johnny?" Taeyong asks, incredulous. "Only you would. I thought you were an idiot for being that obsessed but I could tell how much Exy means to you. So, yes, I'm gonna keep my promise and I'll die only after I see you get back on your feet and back in court. Hell, I'll back off as soon as your place in the US Court is secured. That's where you're supposed to be."

Johnny looks flabbergasted, lips parted and Taeyong thinks he might have said something if the nurse didn't call his name. Instead Johnny clenches his jaw and stands up, limping into the doctor's office with Taeyong tailing behind.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Johnny's first session was a lot of talking and his doctor briefing him on the procedures. The topic of his parents came up at some point but Johnny dismissed it with a wave of his hand and didn't bring it up again. He'd been impatient about getting to the actual therapy and was disappointed when the doctor told him he won't start with it until their next appointment, possibly in the next two months. 

Since Taeyong was there in person, he'd gotten insight on what had actually been the cause of Johnny not being able to play anymore when the doctor explained it thoroughly. A broken ankle could heal but his bones are fractured, particularly his toe, to the metatarsal bone that leads up to his navicular. It's so bad that some parts of his calcaneus are fractured too. Whoever had beaten him that night did it to cripple him and they hadn't been merciful.

Besides his bad foot, his spine had been affected as well. Taeyong assumed it was the complications Johnny had mentioned in the hospital because he didn't look surprised when it was brought up again. The spinal injury, however, is the main reason Johnny should stay off court.

The ride home had been just as quiet and Johnny thanked Taeyong with a small smile before he disappeared into his room and slammed the door in Taeyong's face. He couldn't be mad or offended; he'd felt just as defeated listening to all the things that aren't right with Johnny's body. 

It's Wednesday afternoon before practice that Taeyong decides to find Ty in their shared room. Curiosity had him thinking back to the first game against the Jackals and how he'd caught Ty watching Yuta, who did not look pleased with the way Johnny had spoken that day. It's possible Ty wouldn't entertain his questions but Taeyong had always known that his curiosity would someday kill him.

He finds Ty in the room, grabbing his car keys to pocket in his jeans. When he sees Taeyong, Ty glances at him briefly but doesn't say anything as he heads out into the living room. Taeyong follows and Ty doesn't turn to look at him when he asks, "Whatever you're asking, the answer is no."

"I haven't even asked."

Ty drags a bemused gaze at him. "You don't have to."

Taeyong rolls his eyes and ignores Ty's clear rejection. "Last Friday during half time, you were looking at Yuta funny. He didn't look too happy, did he?"

"Doesn't sound like my problem," Ty says with a shrug but he doesn't make a move to leave.

"But you were watching him," Taeyong presses on, feeling bold. "Why? You know something."

Ty maintains his unimpressed expression, staring at Taeyong blankly. Before he turns away, however, he says, "Just a feeling."

This perks up Taeyong's interest all the more. He frowns, grabbing his bag to follow after his twin out of their suite. "Do you think he's jealous? He didn't like Johnny sounding like captain, did he?"

Ty locks up, quiet as he turns away and makes for the stairs. Taeyong expects him to stop by Yukhei's room but he doesn't stop so Taeyong follows. Downstairs, Ty speaks again. "Johnny's obnoxious and Yuta's only captain because he's Coach's son. He's privileged and insecure. Johnny should be captain."

"You think so?" Taeyong tries but it's a stupid attempt and he can't risk shutting Ty up so when he climbs into the passenger seat, Taeyong tries again. "At least Yuta is acting professional, right? I can't imagine how divided the team would be if there are sides to take. We're family."

Ty starts the car, "Family is you and me. The rest don't matter."

It's the first time Ty had ever admitted to such a thing and Taeyong's surprise is evident in his silence but as soon as he recovers, Taeyong speaks quietly. "What about Yukhei?"

"I'll get bored of him eventually," Ty responds immediately but Taeyong doesn't miss the tick in his jaw. Yukhei clearly means more to him than just a play thing because Ty hasn't ever been involved with anyone before Yukhei. It sounds more like him convincing himself than Taeyong.

He doesn't press because Ty's personal life is his, even if they share the exact same face and have the same blood running through their veins. He's silent for another minute before speaking up again, something the rest of the team is clueless of, even Coach. "Someone beat Johnny up with intentions to take him out of the game."

If this interested Ty, he doesn't show it. He focuses on the road but the slight tilt of his head tells Taeyong he's listening. 

Taeyong continues, "He mentioned these guys doing it on purpose. His foot fractured badly and they made sure they did some damage to his spine, not enough to have him paralyzed but enough so he couldn't get back to Exy."

Another minute passes by before Ty finally acknowledges that he'd heard what Taeyong told him. "Question; why do you care? Is it true what they say about you crushing on him?"

"That's two questions," Taeyong counters, turning his head to look at his twin. "And where did they get this idea from? It doesn't make sense."

Ty shrugs as he pulls into the parking space outside the stadium. "None of the Foxes make sense. You didn't answer my first question."

"I just want to help him," Taeyong says honestly because it isn't a lie. "He should be Court and now he can't play. He's good, Ty. You've seen him on the court."

Another minute of silence. Ty's voice is cold. "He can't play. There's nothing you can do to help him."

"I can be a _friend,_ " He retorts, growing increasingly annoyed. "I could have used a friend all those years ago when she was leaving scars on us. I could have used a friend to talk to. You barely spoke to me."

Ty's jaw clenched so hard Taeyong thinks he would hear his teeth break. "You should have stayed with your aunt."

Taeyong parts his lips to argue but Ty holds up a finger to silence him, a hand already at the door handle, ready to leave but he doesn't before he speaks. "Johnny should know better than to let you in if he has monsters coming after him. He's selfish for letting you get close for reasons you don't even know. Now you know something, what do you think his shadow is going to do about it? He's a dead man. You'd just be the fool who thought you could help him."

With that, Ty climbs off the car and slams the door shut. He smacks at the hood of the car and gestures for Taeyong to get out too. Taeyong clenches his jaw and grabs his bag, stepping out of the vehicle and going past Ty towards the entrance of the stadium. He punches in the security code and doesn't wait for Ty to follow. 

When he turns back, he sees Ty lighting up a cigarette, leaning back against the side of the car and watching him. At that moment, Taeyong thinks it's possible to both love and hate someone. Ty would be the first to evoke such emotions.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Their next game is against the Belmonte's Terrapins and it will be held in the Belmonte University's stadium this time. Since it would take six hours to get there, Coach had wanted Johnny to stay in the dorm but Johnny was stubborn and refused to watch the game through a screen. He made a good argument about how he deserves to be there until Coach caved in. 

Taeyong and Ty usually take up the seats in the back of the bus, with Yukhei in between them because he likes to talk to Ty throughout the rides. Taeyong is mostly quiet but since he's still upset with Ty and still hasn't spoken to him since last Wednesday, he opts to sit next to Johnny.

Johnny doesn't turn to acknowledge him but he says, "You're annoying. What part about seeing me sitting alone don't you understand?"

Not taking it to heart because he knows Johnny's being difficult on purpose, Taeyong shrugs. "If you sit alone, I'm gonna sit with you. What are you thinking about?"

"About how nice it'd be if you left me alone."

"Asshole." 

Johnny's lips curl into a tiny smile, turning to look at Taeyong. "Didn't know you'd be this hard to shake off."

"Why do you think I'm glued to Ty?"

The mention of Ty is enough to erase the smile on Johnny's face. He looks out the window, silent for a moment, before he speaks again in a low enough voice so no one else could hear. "I feel like he's holding you back. You've got so much potential but it's like he doesn't want you to reach that level. Does he have control over your life or something?"

For a second, Taeyong regrets choosing to sit next to Johnny but he sighs and stares at his fingers. "He's protective of me. We've been through some shit growing up and I feel like he's holding onto some sort of responsibility over me. He's a lot of things, Johnny. I know he's just protecting me."

"Even going so far as to warn off people who might have had feelings for you?" Johnny asks, his gaze unwavering.

Confusion must have twisted into Taeyong's features because Johnny laughs, albeit a little humorlessly. He frowns, unaware of what Johnny means because Ty had never mentioned anything but he shouldn't be surprised that Ty has secrets he's allowed to keep the way Taeyong isn't allowed to keep his. His jaw hurts from clenching it so hard but it's the only thing that's stopping him from getting up and confronting Ty right here and now.

He settles with saying; "I don't know what you're talking about. Have you seen him do it? I didn't even know anyone would like me that way."

"I've heard him say it first hand," Johnny confesses, "In his exact words, 'I'll break your hands and legs if you get close to my brother'. Starting to think I should've gone for it if I knew someone else would smash my foot to pulp anyway."

Taeyong blinks, having an impossibly difficult time trying to make sense of what Johnny had just told him. When he finally processes it, Taeyong stares hard at Johnny, who isn't looking at him but out the window. "No way."

Johnny raises his brows, turning to him. "What?"

"I said, no way," Taeyong laughs but it pains his chest to do so. "That's impossible— You hate me!"

There's no smile on Johnny's lips to hint that he was pulling Taeyong's leg when he speaks again, repeating the words Taeyong once said to him. "I don't hate anyone."

Taeyong's lips part to say something but he couldn't find anything that wouldn't sound too prying or personal. It's natural for the questions to swarm him; how long ago was the confrontation? How long ago did Johnny realize he was looking at Taeyong in a different light? Does he feel the same now? Taeyong could only assume he doesn't and while that's a relief, he couldn't stop the anger that bubbles within his chest. Ty had obviously noticed it from the beginning and he'd gone behind Taeyong to warn Johnny off.

And now he's hooking up with Yukhei after going so far as to make sure Taeyong doesn't get involved that way?

He makes a move to get up so he could talk to Ty and maybe give him that black eye he's always wanted to give but then Johnny's hand curls around his wrist to stop him. Taeyong shoots a death glare at him but he doesn't pull away.

"After the game." Johnny says simply. "I need your head in the game. I'm sorry I even mentioned it. That wasn't professional."

"But-"

"I need you to win this game for me, Tae," Johnny presses, his voice serious and just like that, their hard exterior, obnoxious Johnny is back but all Taeyong could focus on is the name Johnny had called him. Like a friend would. "You made a promise. And you promised to be present where I am present so I can get back to what I love doing. This is what I love to do. I want us to get to finals. I want us to beat the Ravens."

When Taeyong is silent, Johnny tightens his grip around Taeyong's wrist. "We _have_ to beat the Ravens, Tae. If we lose, I can say goodbye to ever getting back in the court."

Taeyong frowns, confusion making him angry and he wants to ask more questions but Coach had stopped the bus and is already ordering them to get off and get changed. He watches as Ty slips past him with a smiling Yukhei tailing behind. Taeyong grips at his duffel bag and gets up, intending to help Johnny but the striker waves him off.

They're ushered into the Belmonte's Away locker room, where they get changed into their uniform and then sent away for warm-up. The Terrapins aren't any friendlier than the Jackals but Taeyong ignores their fans' boos and focuses on the orange wave that came to support them. 

He's up for second half again so he spends the first forty-five minutes studying the Terrapins' technique. It's hard to keep his focus every time Johnny speaks, because his attention gets distracted back to the striker and he goes back to the conversation they had in the bus. He tries to push aside the fact that Johnny had wanted to pursue him and focuses on what Johnny had meant when he said they have to beat the Ravens, what he meant when he said losing would mean he wouldn't get to be back in court. 

He's quiet all through the first half and relaxes when the Foxes are ahead of the Terrapins at four-three. The fifteen minutes half time he spent drinking water and watching Yuta. He refuses to look at Ty, still angry, and makes sure Johnny knows he's watching him too, holding his gaze whenever their eyes meet. 

Back outside, Taeyong puts on his gloves and helmet, testing the weight of his racquet in his hand. Ty approaches him and clacks the butt of his racquet against the top of his helmet and Taeyong dodges, a little too late, but just so Ty knows he's mad. Ty laughs and walks into the court when his name is announced as the goalkeeper for second half.

Johnny must have noticed his scowling because then he feels a hand grip at the visor of his helmet to maneuver his head towards them. It's Johnny and Johnny tugs his face closer using the leverage. "Head in the game, Lee."

Taeyong nods and he shakes off every other thought that's distracting him and thinks of the game. The announcer calls his name. The fans are in an uproar when they recognize him, an effect from his win two weeks ago.

When the game starts again, the Terrapins waste no time to get violent. Yukhei scores twice, Ty blocks all ten of the Terrapins' attempts and Taeyong scores their win. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Taeyong tries to study the Ravens the next time he gets a free day. The library is the best place to avoid any of his teammates so he tucks himself away at the far end, where students are scarce and he could use the time to look through anything he could find about Edgar Allan's Exy team. 

He skips their games because he'd grown up watching the Raven's play. They'd come up on top every year and the USC Trojans second. Palmetto State's Foxes have no chance against even Penn State at the moment but it seems like Johnny's need to win is more urgent than just that taste of victory. 

Unsurprisingly, there isn't anything he could find on the internet about the Ravens besides biographies of their top players. Their captain and striker is Mark Lee, a boy a few years younger than Taeyong himself, with feline eyes and a number '1' tattoo inked on his left cheekbone. 

Mark is no stranger to Exy players and fans. Anyone who knows anything about the sport would know Mark Lee, best player in the field, and most well-known for his winning streak. Taeyong had found out about him the first time he had checked out Exy after his first practice, a hardworking prodigy on a sure path to the US Court. 

Ty used to watch the Ravens play every year, even before Mark was made captain. It's the one thing their father let them have, though only because he was a fan himself. He would take the twins all the way to West Virginia, where the game would be held at Castle Evermore, the first Exy stadium in the US that doubles as the US national stadium.

Taeyong wouldn't lie and say that he wasn't impressed each time he was there. Watching the Ravens play made both him and Ty want to be better players and rewatching the games online allowed them something to get inspired by. 

They were fans before but now home is with the Foxes and the Ravens are just another rival team. 

Annoyed that he couldn't find anything, Taeyong turns off his laptop and grabs his things before heading out of the library. He takes a different route from the one he'd taken the night he found Johnny. It wasn't his trauma but Taeyong avoids places with bad memories when he could. 

The different route is longer but more students are present, getting from class to another class and Taeyong would have to cross a road to get to the Fox Tower. He had only one class in the morning and he'd made sure to finish up with assignments before he started on his Ravens study.

He's distracted by the beeps on his phone as he steps onto the concrete, frowning at the number of messages he's getting, a surprise since he doesn't have friends besides the team and even with them he isn't on texting terms. He looks up at the high pitch sound of screeching tyres and then he sees the car that's rushing right at him. 

Shock has Taeyong frozen in place, holding his breath as he braces himself for the impact but suddenly a strong hand grips at his arm and he's being pulled back and off the road. He falls back with a gasp, landing onto the person who had very timely saved him from an accident.

"Taeyong? Taeyong, it's me," The voice speaks up and only then does Taeyong realize he's still in shock, failing to recognize his surroundings and the face staring down at him.

When he managed to focus, barely so, his breathing is hard. His books and laptop are strewn across his left and he's staring up at Yukhei, whose wide eyes are searching, looking for any injuries Taeyong might have gotten when they fell.

Taeyong lets Yukhei help him up to his feet and they silently pick up his books and laptop. His heart is pounding against his chest and he looks back to see if the car had stopped but there is no sign of it anywhere. Yukhei hands him his laptop, shrugging his bag onto his own shoulder. "You okay?"

"I'm alive," Taeyong managed a whisper, "Thanks."

He doesn't get to check how much damage his computer is in because Yukhei is already pulling at his wrist, tugging him forward. Still a little dazed from the near accident, Taeyong quietly follows. Yukhei doesn't stay silent as he explains, "I was looking for you. Doyoung texted me saying Ty and Johnny are fighting."

Taeyong's eyes widen, "Fighting? Why are they fighting?"

"I don't know," Yukhei says. He isn't smiling so Taeyong knows he isn't kidding. "Yuta also said Ty brought Johnny to your room to talk so I think we should be quick."

It's all Taeyong needs to quicken his steps but walking fast hurts his back, presumably because of the fall they'd both taken just earlier. He ignores it as they hurry towards the Fox Tower and the climb up to the third storey is a struggle but Yukhei hauls him up over the top of the stairs when he nearly stumbles. In the hallway, Doyoung is standing by their door, clearly waiting for Taeyong and Yukhei to arrive.

"Oh, thank god," Doyoung says when he sees them approaching. "Tell me honestly, is Ty capable of murder?"

Taeyong parts his lips to tell him no but Ty is capable of a lot of things and he isn't sure if Ty wouldn't stoop so low. "Could you go wait up in Yuta's room? Hendery and Taeil should be there to keep you company."

Doyoung frowns, "Are you gonna be okay?"

"He won't hurt me," Taeyong assures. "Go."

The younger male looks like he wants to protest but he glances at Yukhei and Yukhei must have asked him to go as well because then he nods and leaves them to head to Yuta's room. Taeyong waits for the soft click of the door closing before he steps into the suite, ready to find the worst possible sight he could see but Johnny is sitting on the couch and Ty is glaring at him, unblinking.

He doesn't look away when he speaks, "Get out."

It takes a moment for Taeyong to realize Ty wasn't speaking to him because when his twin lifts his gaze, it's to look directly at Yukhei. Yukhei frowns, "What?"

"Out, I said." Ty repeats.

Yukhei's smart enough to listen because Taeyong hears him step out of the suite. He looks to Johnny to find any new bruise on him but besides the pretty obvious red lines on his jaw from possibly Ty's fingers, he seems unharmed. He places his things down on his desk and slowly approaches the other two. Ty is unreadable and Johnny wouldn't look at him. He doesn't sit down, eyeing them carefully.

"What the fuck is going on?"

Ty's cold gaze drags over to Johnny, "Tell him."

Taeyong looks at the taller man questioningly and Johnny looks guilty, his fingers trembling when he gestured at the box on the table Taeyong had completely mislooked. "Someone sent you a parcel and Ty received it for you."

There are a million questions but instead of asking, Taeyong goes over to open a window of the box. Inside, he finds a bloody mess of a headless fox pup, the poor tiny baby dismembered for a show of threat. Taeyong isn't queasy but he holds his breath and clenches his jaw as he closes the box.

Ty slides a piece of paper over to him, on it are crimson letters that make up a short sentence that says _'Taeyong next'_. It sends an eerie chill down his spine and he only looks up when Ty decides to speak again. 

"Whose monster could be looking for my brother." It wasn't a question but Taeyong could guess the answer. Ty looks unimpressed and bored as always but the way his jaw clenches and unclench is enough to tell Taeyong that a single wrong answer could tip the scale. "I've made sure my brother and I's path is clear after we walk them. Now you're turning your problem into our problem. Tell him the truth."

Johnny clenches his fist, "I don't know who they are. I didn't mean for this to happen, okay? I wouldn't have done such a thing if I knew who they were. I just know that they want me out of the game and they've done it. They got me out."

"Is it the Ravens?" Taeyong supplies, surprising Johnny. 

"No," Johnny shakes his head. "It can't be."

Ty gazes at Johnny, "The truth, Suh."

Johnny raises a shaky hand to run through his hair. "It can't be the Ravens because I've struck a deal with them to settle a debt. The only way I can pay up is if our team wins finals, but I'd have to say no to Court when they offer me a place. Mark is a man of his words. I believe him."

Taeyong's head is a jumble of thoughts he couldn't straighten out. "And what if you lose?"

"I have to pay up," Johnny meets his gaze. "They're not going to take my money because it's nothing to them. They'll have my life."

If this is news to Ty, he doesn't show it. His face remains the stoic, blank stare he's had most of the time, even when Taeyong looks to him for some kind of response. Johnny's hands are shaking and he clenches them into fists, refusing to look at the box on the table. Ty's phone beeps and he glances at it briefly but doesn't type out any reply.

Instead, he picks up one of Johnny's crutches and Taeyong's too late to stop him when he swings it down hard onto Johnny's bad foot. Johnny screams in pain and Taeyong has to pull Ty away before he could do it again.

"Ty! Stop it!" Taeyong cries out when Ty struggles and he has to shove his brother away from Johnny.

Ty throws the crutch down with enough force that it clatters with a loud noise. He stalks over to the window and retrieves a cigarette stick from inside his pocket, lighting it up and he speaks without turning to look at Taeyong or Johnny. "I'd kill you if Yukhei wasn't there when the car almost hit Taeyong."

Taeyong blinks, remembering the near-accident he almost had earlier and putting together the fact that it might not have been an accident after all. He ignores Ty for now and crouches down next to Johnny to see if there is any new damage to his foot. The cast he has on had protected him in a way and the force of Ty's hit had fractured the cast but Taeyong hopes it didn't mess up his healing process. 

"I'm taking him to the hospital," Taeyong says as he rises to his feet, picking up the crutch and helping Johnny up. He looks over at Ty, "Can I borrow your car?"

His twin brother glances at him briefly before killing the light of the cigarette against the windowsill and he gets off the ledge to grab his car keys, stepping out of their suite without another word. Taeyong helps Johnny out, following Ty down to his car. The ride is silent save for Johnny's breath occasionally hitching in his throat when his foot hurts but Ty doesn't say a word and Taeyong's too deep in his thoughts. 

When Ty leaves them to the front entrance so he could park the car, Taeyong guides Johnny inside. They're quiet for an endless time but eventually, Taeyong has to ask. "How much money did you owe them?"

Johnny looks at his fingers, still trembling. "I didn't. My parents did. We were on the run to get away from Mark's family when they died in that car crash. I didn't know until they sat me down a couple years ago. That's when I agreed to the deal. He knows whatever team I make into, I'd never be able to defeat the Ravens. That's why I've worked hard building the Foxes up, Tae. My days are numbered."

It takes Taeyong a moment to let it sink in. He couldn't possibly understand what it feels like to know when exactly he would die and he thinks about how hard Johnny has been on the Foxes, how much harder he was on himself and all the resentment he's ever had towards the striker seems to melt away. It all makes sense now. He just doesn't want to die.

"Do you think the Ravens did this?" Taeyong asks, referring to the leg now waiting to be put on a new cast.

Johnny leans his head back against the wall, eyes closed as he sighs. "I don't know. I have… suspicions but I feel terrible even thinking about it."

"Who, then?"

The striker looks at Taeyong, looking beyond exhausted. "There's only one person who knows my usual route back to the Fox Tower, Tae. Only Yuta knows."

  
  


* * *

  
  


Johnny's suspicions about Yuta makes too much sense for Taeyong not to share the same view. Yuta is captain but barely anyone listens to him the way they listen to Johnny. Ty had also once said that Johnny should have been captain, that Yuta was only made one because Coach is his father. If his jealousy had reached rock bottom, it isn't an impossibility.

But to go so far as to rob Johnny's future as an Exy player means Yuta must know about the deal Johnny had made with the Ravens, if Yuta really is involved. It sickens Taeyong to know he could be so envious he'd want Johnny dead. 

The threats have stopped, at least for now. He hadn't received any other dead animal and nothing had tried to kill him, though Taeyong thinks that's because he hadn't been doing anything or asking any questions about Johnny's attack. 

He goes to afternoon practices as usual and doesn't skip night ones, wanting to improve and play better, because the last few games had been near-misses and they won only thanks to Yukhei and Yuta. He couldn't even imagine losing because in his sleep, he dreams of Castle Evermore crumbling into pieces and burying Johnny ten feet down. 

"I should be the one that deep in my thoughts," Johnny's voice brings Taeyong back into focus and he looks up to see Johnny without his crutches, smiling down at him.

It takes him a second to remember where he is. He'd woken up early this morning, even though it's Saturday, because he'd promised to take Johnny to the hospital for his first physiotherapy session. He must have zoned out while the doctor helps Johnny try to walk without the crutches, knuckles white as he grips at the parallel bars. 

Taeyong offers a tiny smile, "Sorry. Just thinking."

Johnny doesn't say anything else after that so Taeyong watches as he makes progress with his feet, though he thinks it's just Johnny being stubborn and wanting to walk again sooner than later. He tells Taeyong to wait outside when he goes into the doctor's office and when he comes out again, he's grim, and they don't talk until they're in the car and he tells Taeyong he wants to go to the stadium.

They sit on the home bench in the Foxhole Court in silence, staring at the empty court. Taeyong pictures himself within those glass walls with his teammates, Johnny at his side and Ty at his back. It looks like a dream picture and he can't dream. He has to make it happen. 

"Doctor said I'd have to be on a cane even after I've healed," Johnny finally says to break the silence and Taeyong understood immediately why he had been grim. Johnny sighs, "Doesn't matter, right? I won't need a cane when I'm dead."

Taeyong bristles, "You're not dying. Not yet."

"Do you honestly think we'd even make it to semifinals?" Johnny asks, scoffing. "I could be perfectly healthy and play a hundred times harder than anyone and we won't stand a chance. It's hopeless."

Another minute goes by. Taeyong can't find it in himself to lie and say that he believes they could win. Instead he steers the topic away from Exy, just so Johnny doesn't have to spiral down in his own dark thoughts. "Why didn't you tell me you liked me? Before, I mean."

Johnny blinks, surprised at the sudden change of topic. "I told you, Ty threatened to break my hands and legs. I needed them at least until I beat the Ravens."

"Would you have told me after, then? After we win and put the Ravens in their second spot. Would you have?"

"Does it matter?" Johnny shrugs, leaning back. "I don't even know if you swing that way and even if you do, never thought I had a chance. You don't let anyone in, do you?"

Taeyong shakes his head, "Everyone leaves eventually."

"What if I told you I wouldn't?"

"What if you couldn't keep your promise?"

Johnny stares at him. A minute feels like two. Then Johnny looks away, "You're right. I'm not so selfish to make you care only to leave when they have my head. I'd break you."

"I'm already broken," Taeyong says quietly, slowly, not quite knowing what he's implying or even saying. All he knows is that he already is broken. Johnny can't fix him just as he can't fix Johnny. Johnny's known future is bleak and Taeyong doesn't see his own, doesn't care enough to hope. 

He thinks about all those times he'd watched Johnny play, in awe and inspired. He thinks about every time he nearly allows himself human emotions and how he remembers that Ty doesn't forget to remind him that they're the only ones they need. And he thinks about Ty threatening Johnny for even crushing on Taeyong only to let his relationship with Yukhei grow into something more than just a one time thing.

He'd spent enough time with Johnny in the last few months to know that he already cares. Maybe it's knowing Johnny had once felt something for him that makes him want to feel it too. He keeps thinking and thinking and thinking until there's nothing left to do but _stop_ thinking.

And when he stops thinking, Taeyong listens only to that irrational voice in the back of his head. He turns just enough to face Johnny and he doesn't hesitate to curl his fingers around the front of Johnny's shirt to pull him down.

He kisses Johnny, because it feels like the right thing to do, because he wants to feel alive, because their future seems hopeless and all they have is here and now. 

He doesn't know if Johnny's reasons are the same but he kisses Taeyong back anyway. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


The game against Binghamton's Bearcats is a close call. If they'd lost it, there was a chance that their opened window to semifinals might close. Taeyong scored once and Yukhei thrice. Even though they won, Yuta isn't taking it well. He was distracted the entire game and when Coach had pulled him aside after his talk with the press, Yuta lashed out. 

Taeyong has just changed back into his clothes when Yuta storms into the locker room, shoving Jaehyun out of the way. Jaehyun looks flabbergasted and Doyoung goes to hook an arm through Jaehyun's in some kind of attempt to soften the blow. Jaehyun and Yuta are close enough for Taeyong to know it must hurt to be blown off like that. 

Ty briefly glances over but it couldn't keep his attention as he returns to staring blankly ahead. Taeyong, however, keeps his eyes on Yuta. He'd kept a subtle eye on their captain for a while now, at least ever since Johnny mentioned being suspicious of him anyway and the little things start to add up. 

He's right to keep watch because Johnny stands up to approach their fuming captain. He doesn't know if Johnny is smart or a plain dumbass because he doesn't back off even when Yuta gives him the clear sign that he wants to be left alone. Taeyong zips up his duffel bag, preparing for the worst.

He's moving the moment Yuta shoves Johnny off, yelling something in Japanese that Johnny must understand since his features pull tight. He barely managed to balance himself against the wall to break his fall, unsteady due to his bad foot and Taeyong slips himself in between them just in time. 

"Hey," Taeyong tries, looking between the two strikers. "Why don't we all calm down, yeah? We won tonight, we should be celebrating."

Yuta glares at him. It's cold and unfamiliar because Yuta isn't Ty. "You should know better than to get involved, Taeyong."

Taeyong frowns, "What's that supposed to mean, Yuta?"

The captain steps forward but he doesn't get to move any closer because Ty decides to speak, "Don't touch him. You should know better than to touch what's mine."

Yuta's clenched jaw tightens as his gaze flickers over to where Ty must be. Taeyong doesn't look away, used to Ty's aggressive and dangerous protection and he keeps his eyes on Yuta instead. Yuta's jaw is ticking; he'd never seen him so angry. His usual calm demeanor seems nonexistent now.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Coach yells as he steps into the locker room to see his boys in an eerie silence. 

Jaehyun and Doyoung are by their lockers, watching Yuta instead of packing up. Hendery makes sure to steer clear out of the way, sticking by Taeil and Yukhei is halfway across the room, seemingly ready to break up a fight if one breaks out. Only Ty is seated on the bench, damp hair falling over his eyes as he holds Yuta's gaze.

"All of you," Coach says, a hand on his hip while the other points out with his thumb. "Get out of here or I'll sign you up for a marathon. I expect you on time Monday afternoon. We're in the semifinals now so that means we're going to have to work twice as hard. Out!"

The boys scramble to get their bags and are out of the locker room within seconds.. Taeyong doesn't move without tugging Johnny with him. He grabs his bag on the way out and holds onto Johnny's arm as the taller limps on his crutches. Ty lingers until Yukhei pulls him away too. 

Outside, Jaehyun is telling the girls about what went down. Seulgi shakes her head, unimpressed, and Wendy looks like she's considering waiting for Yuta so she could talk to him. It's Johnny that tells everyone to head back to their dorms and no one protests or linger behind.

Taeyong follows everyone out, watching as Hendery climbs into the girls' car, Doyoung and Taeil into Jaehyun's and Yukhei is already riding shotgun in Ty's. Taeyong starts towards the black Volkswagen but he turns back to see if Johnny is following. When he realizes that Johnny is staying behind, Taeyong quickly calls out for Ty.

"I'm staying," He tells his brother, who turns around to look at him and then Johnny.

Ty looks almost angry, sarcasm lacing his voice. "That's smart. You think the best thing to do is to stay out here with a mark on your back?"

"I'll be fine," Taeyong says. He grabs his room keys and hands his duffel over to Ty. "I can take care of myself. My phone will be with me. I'll be back before two."

His brother looks close to maybe breaking his nose but the flash of emotions in his face is brief as he quickly returns to that same, stoic expression. He glares at Johnny but turns away to climb into his car and zooms off towards the dorms.

When he returns to Johnny, the taller man is leaning against the wall. He doesn't seem surprised to see Taeyong still there, probably used to his presence now, but he sighs when Taeyong is close enough to hear him. "I'm walking."

"You want to add another month of physiotherapy?" Taeyong asks back, incredulous. "We could have driven home."

Johnny waves a hand, "I need some air."

He starts to walk and Taeyong parts his lips to call for him but then the door to the stadium slams open and they both watch as Yuta storms away, bag over one shoulder. Taeyong expects to see him climb into Coach's car but Yuta heads towards the road and disappears into the night. 

"Walk with me?" Johnny asks after a minute of silence.

Taeyong couldn't say no. He follows Johnny towards the direction of the Fox Tower and it'd take forever to get there on foot and Johnny's bound to complain when his legs start to hurt but Taeyong doesn't say anything. The silence is too loud and Taeyong finds himself pulled back to the memory of their first kiss, that first day of Johnny's therapy session.

It wasn't his first kiss, surely. He'd kissed a girl in high school and liked it. He'd kissed another boy on a dare back in their high school Exy team, had fun with it. Ty was bemused but he'd been assured those kisses meant nothing and didn't comment once he was sure no one would cause them trouble.

Kissing Johnny was different. It felt real. It made him feel alive, like he'd been struggling to breathe and kissing Johnny had given him air. They had simply gone back to their dorm after and did not speak of it or kissed again. Taeyong wonders if Johnny regretted it. He didn't. There isn't much room for regrets, not in this short life, but a part of him doesn't want Johnny to wish it didn't happen. 

Shaking those thoughts away so he doesn't start asking stupid questions and making himself look like an idiot, Taeyong breaks the silence when they've walked for ten minutes and the Fox Tower is still far away, "You're aware we're going for another one of your sessions tomorrow, right?"

"Yes," Johnny says simply, sounding tight and curt. "You don't have to come."

Taeyong scoffs playfully, "You're gonna drive yourself?"

"I can call for a ride."

Annoyed, Taeyong grinds his teeth. "Don't talk to me like you'd rather be somewhere else, John Suh. I don't deserve your backlash, especially if I'm not the one who caused your goddamn frustration."

"Fuck off, Taeyong."

Taeyong punches Johnny's arm, "Fuck you. You asked me to walk with you, asshole."

Johnny glares at him, "Exactly. I said walk with me, not talk to me."

He has to hold himself back from pushing Johnny off his crutches so he folds his arms over his chest and continues to walk. It's not for another ten minutes that Johnny starts to slow down, clearly in pain from walking too much. Taeyong mirrors his pace but after a moment, his annoyance gets to him because the only reason they aren't home yet is because Johnny decides walking the distance was a good idea.

"Regretting it now?" He jabs at the taller, barely a mumble.

Johnny heard him and instead of walking, he takes the crutches from under his arms and starts hitting it over the pavement, over and over again, pouring every ounce of his frustration into his tantrum until one of them breaks.

Taeyong watches, wide-eyed but unafraid. He isn't stupid enough to stop Johnny from letting it out so he waits. He waits until Johnny realizes that he has no support and had to limp towards the nearest wall so he could lean against it.

"Did I make you angry?" He asks, arms still over his chest as he eyes the striker. "Did I make you angry, Johnny?"

Johnny glares at him, "No."

"Liar," Taeyong spits, closing the distance between them. "You're angry at the world but I know I triggered that breakdown. Good. You should be angry."

"Fuck everyone." Johnny pants, breathless from acting out as he slides down the wall to sit, wincing at the pain in his leg. "Fuck everyone who expects so much out of me. Fuck my parents for leaving me to pay for their fuckups. Fuck Mark for thinking my life is his fucking toy. Fuck Yuta. Fuck your monster brother for thinking he gets to control who the fuck you're fucking. And you know what, Taeyong? Fuck you too. Fuck you for kissing me when I've managed nearly four years hating you. Fuck you the most."

Taeyong clenches his jaw, anger making him see red but the sharp reminder that he hadn't even asked Johnny if he could kiss him washes off his fury until he's left with only resolve. He looks away and he says, "You don't hate anyone."

"You're an exception," Johnny spits poisonously.

"Okay," He nods, sitting down next to Johnny and hugging his knees to his chest. He waits a moment before he speaks again. "I'm sorry I kissed you without asking you first."

Johnny seems surprised by the apology but he waves it off before falling silent once again. They sit there for what feels like a decade before Johnny speaks. "You were wearing Raven colors that day." 

Taeyong turns his head to look at Johnny, confused about what he's saying. Johnny doesn't look angry anymore, just a little sheepish, a little shy. When he doesn't continue, Taeyong nudges at his thigh using his own. "What?"

"The first day we met," Johnny continues, wincing as he shifts his leg to find a more comfortable position. "You were wearing red and black, standing next to your mirror image, that first day Coach introduced you guys to the team. The only difference between you two is that scar of yours."

Johnny turns to him, lifting a hand up to brush the pad of his thumb over the rose-shaped indent in Taeyong's skin. Johnny's touch is fleeting, his voice soft. "No matter how similar you two were, with the same hair and all that, I always knew you were Taeyong and he was Ty."

He thinks about that day when Ty had wanted to trick Johnny into thinking he was Taeyong by wearing his jersey and how it didn't take Johnny long to know he was Ty. He blinks, refusing to fall into the pool of Johnny's brown eyes. "You couldn't have been able to tell us apart without the scar."

"I think I could have," Johnny counters. "Ty's damaged in his own ways, isn't he? You in yours. He's almost soulless and you have wide eyes and a curiosity in you that attracts people. Even Jaehyun wanted to shoot his shot."

Of all the things Johnny had said, Taeyong only managed a soft, "Ty isn't soulless. He's just had to be an adult too soon. He took care of me, made sure my damages weren't as… Critical. He wouldn't let me take care of him."

Johnny shrugs, "No one will understand the bond you two have but you and him, so I won't disagree. I knew the moment he cornered me in the locker room that day that his protectiveness is on a different level. I know empty threats when I hear them. His threats weren't empty. I don't know how he knew but he knew. And he made sure I knew not to do anything about it. Whatever it is, your mirrored silence made it easy for me to pretend to hate you like I hate him."

The silence stretches on for another minute or a lifetime, Taeyong can't be sure. It's heavy and learning all these things puts him in a position he never thought he'd ever find himself in. He'd never thought about relationships, never been interested in anyone enough to want anything out of it, but kissing Johnny feels like salvation. 

Kissing Johnny feels selfish and it tastes good on his tongue. It doesn't matter how hard he tries to push away the uncomfortable warmth that spreads at his chest. He wants it.

"Do you hate me now?" Taeyong settles on asking.

Johnny laughs, the sound a staccato series Taeyong could get used to. He doesn't think he's ever heard Johnny laugh before. "I can't. Especially since we're friends now. Aren't we?"

"Do friends kiss each other?"

"Some friends do. Maybe? I don't know. I've never kissed my friends."

Taeyong can't remember having friends besides Ty and the occasional moments he'd shared with Doyoung but he isn't stupid enough not to know that most friends don't kiss each other. Not the way he'd kissed Johnny anyway. 

He eyes Johnny's mouth, remembers how soft they felt on his and he asks, "Do you want to kiss me?"

Johnny looks at him and the seconds tick so loudly Taeyong thinks it could have been his heart beating against his chest. He waits for Johnny's answer, waits for him to say yes even though every fiber of his being is screaming at him to kiss Johnny again. Johnny's adam's apple bobs in his throat when he swallows and then he nods with a quiet, "Yes."

"So kiss me."

So Johnny kisses him, hungry and needy and heated all at once and Taeyong doesn't notice the hand he curls around the front of Johnny's shirt until he feels Johnny move closer, trapping his hand in between them. Johnny kisses like he's starving and desperate and Taeyong chases his mouth like it would save his life. There's a swipe of tongue against his own and he returns it by experimentally licking into Johnny's mouth. The moans Johnny lets out is enough to tell him he did it right. So he does it again. And again. And again.

They only pull apart for air, foreheads pressed together and Taeyong is too painfully aware of how late it is, how he'd promised Ty he'd be back before two in the morning. He keeps his fingers curled around Johnny's shirt even as he lets out a chuckle, low under his breath.

He lets go and watches the creases on Johnny's shirt remain in its place as he gets back up onto his feet. He says, "We're not friends."

And Johnny smiles because he knows.

When he falls asleep that night, Taeyong dreams of having a hand to hold and happiness has the face of Johnny Suh.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The morning after started off with Doyoung's annoying alarm because he'd forgotten to turn it off before he went to bed. It's Saturday and Ty threw a pillow at Doyoung when he didn't wake up from the obnoxious noise. Ty went back to sleep but the memory of last night's kiss kept Taeyong awake.

By nine, he's off his bed and showered, ready to fetch Johnny and drive him to the hospital. He'd set the coffee brewing when the knocks came at his door, loud and annoying and impatient. He's frowning when he opens it, finding not only Johnny but his entire team waiting right outside.

"What the fuck?"

It's Hendery who speaks, "You haven't heard?"

The first thing that comes to mind is that something had happened to one of them, that someone died or something and he fights hard to keep a cool posture. He's having difficulty counting heads and finding out who isn't here. But then it hits him; Yuta is missing.

"Where's Yuta?" He asks coolly.

Johnny pushes past him using the one crutch he has left, stepping into the suite as the rest follows behind him. They hadn't made any noise but the stretch of silence might have woken up Ty because his brother opens the door to their bedroom with a bored gaze as he takes in the sight of everyone in their suite, for the first time in history.

Doyoung is right behind him, eyes wide. "What the hell is going on?"

Johnny turns on the TV and uses the remote to find the closest sports channel. He lands on one with the sports news on and replays it. On the screen, Taeyong sees Mark Lee speaking to the press, every other microphones and recording equipment shoved up in his face while the cameras flash.

Mark is smiling and standing next to him is Yuta, wearing Raven colors and the unmistakable number '02' tattoo on his left cheekbone to mirror Mark's '01'. Taeyong's shock doesn't allow him the ability to keep his cool and if Ty is surprised, he doesn't show it. 

The betrayal affects Jaehyun most and Taeyong only notices because Doyoung goes to wrap his arms around the guy. Jaehyun looks distraught, eyes red like he'd been crying. The girls are angry besides Wendy, who looks sad. 

"For now, we have no comment on what people would think about the transfer," Mark is telling the reporters, a smug smile on his lips. "I can only tell you that The Ravens are pleased to welcome our new striker home."

They watch as the reporters start throwing questions at Yuta, whose face is devoid of any emotions, and he only speaks when Mark gestures for him to. "I'm looking forward to putting all the other teams in their rightful places, and as the world would know, everyone else is below the Ravens."

Mark laughs like Yuta had just made the funniest joke and then the screen cuts off to the news reporter, moving on with news of other sports. The rest of them are silent as they take it in and Taeyong doesn't know what to say, shocked and betrayed and confused. He hadn't known Yuta held so much resentment he'd decided to abandon his own father.

"Down a captain," Ty speaks up to break the silence and he's the first to move, into the kitchen where he pours himself a cup of coffee. 

Taeyong looks at Johnny, "Does Coach know?"

Johnny nods, lips pursed into a thin line. "He told me to tell everyone that practice resumes on Monday. He'll appoint a new captain then. Prepare to be one, Yukhei."

"Already?" Hendery asks, looking like he'd been personally wounded. "That's just… That's a little cruel."

"Fuck Yuta," Jaehyun spits out, red-rimmed eyes angry. "He's a sell-out. We'll get our new captain come Monday. Fuck him. He's fucked everything up."

Jaehyun doesn't stick around, storming out of the room with Doyoung in tow, even though the latter is only half dressed and barefoot. Ty doesn't bother turning his head to look but he goes over to the door to keep it open, gesturing for the rest to go. When no one moved, Ty lets his gaze drag to Yukhei.

Yukhei moves and it's the only cue the rest of them need to get moving as well. Johnny lingers behind, looking as though he has something to say and Ty doesn't comment as he closes the door. Barely a minute goes by when there's another knock. Ty opens immediately, finding a rather pale Hendery.

"Ty, your- Your car. You should take a look at your car."

Taeyong moves and when Johnny starts to as well, he holds a hand out at the taller. "You stay. You have therapy later."

He doesn't wait to hear Johnny's protest as he follows Ty out of the room and down the stairs to the parking lot, where students parked their car and where Ty's black Volkswagen sits nearest to the exit door. He sees the damage as soon as he steps out of the building, the obvious red paint on the doors of the car, something that reads, _'2nd Warning'_ and _'John Suh dies alone'_. 

"Fuck," Johnny mutters from behind him and Taeyong startles because he hadn't known Johnny was following behind him. Johnny looks shaken as he repeats, "Fuck."

It's a clear warning for Taeyong to stay away from Johnny and Taeyong should be afraid but all he feels is angry. For this to happen right after Yuta's sudden transfer doesn't put him under an innocent light and Johnny's suspicions might as well be the truth now. Yuta's threats could be taken lightly before but now that he's involved with the Ravens, Taeyong doesn't think his threats are empty. 

Ty looks back at Johnny, his eyes murderous. "You. You stay the fuck away from him."

Taeyong clenches his jaw, stepping between his brother and Johnny. "I'm not scared of them, Ty. Johnny needs our help. They can't do anything to us if we're together, right?"

"You're stupid, Taeyong," Ty says venomously. "Stupid. You don't know these people. You're walking right into a trap. For Johnny? He's not worth dying for."

"I'm not going to die!" Taeyong snaps before he repeats in a calmer tone. There's no use fighting fire with fire. "I'm not going to die. I have you. You'll protect me if I can't do it myself."

Ty looks past him, at Johnny, whose sad eyes stare back at them. "I'm sorry. But Ty's right, Tae. It's too dangerous. I should handle this on my own."

"No," Taeyong shakes his head. "Shut the fuck up, Johnny. We're a team. You can't avoid me, I can't avoid you. I'm not letting them do this."

Johnny's mouth parts to speak but Taeyong won't have any of it. He turns on his heels and goes back into the building, up the stairs so he could grab his jacket. There's no way to remove the paint on Ty's car but he knows Ty will get it done one way or another. He moves quickly so Johnny doesn't have the time to come back up, wallet and phone in his pockets before he's heading back downstairs.

Ty is on his phone, possibly speaking to someone about fixing the car, while Yukhei tells the rest of the team to go back to their rooms and not linger around. Taeyong doesn't wait for them to disperse before he tugs for Johnny to follow.

"Where are we going?" Johnny asks, limping and struggling with the single crutch he didn't break the night before.

Taeyong calls for uber as he speaks, "You have a session."

"Are you serious?" Johnny laughs humorlessly. "Our captain just abandoned us. You just got threatened. I can skip today."

"Yes, I'm serious," Taeyong glares at him, clenching his jaw so he doesn't snap at Johnny.

His head is all over the place. Despite what he'd told Ty, he _is_ afraid, but more than anything, he's afraid it's too late for him to stop caring about Johnny. Their kiss sealed something last night. Taeyong doesn't know what exactly but suddenly the idea of not having Johnny around feels like something out of a nightmare. He would die before he lets Johnny go.

Their ride arrives before Johnny could think of something to say and they sit in the car quietly. It was thankfully quick and the moment the car stops, Taeyong hops off and goes to help Johnny out of the vehicle. They're five minutes late to his appointment but they aren't made to wait much longer. 

Johnny's doctor asks about the other half of the pair of crutches and when Johnny tells her honestly what had happened to it, she asks him if he needs to see someone about it. Johnny's quick to tell her that he sees Dr. Bo-ah enough for him to be okay. She doesn't press him and instead signs off another pair of crutches for him to bring home. 

Once his session ends, Taeyong doesn't call for a ride home immediately. He walks ahead of Johnny, hands in his pockets, towards the road that takes them over to the railings overlooking the waters below. He leans against it and watches the cars drive over the arch bridge not too far from here. Johnny's presence is noticeable behind him but Taeyong doesn't speak for a long time. 

He lets his mind wander. They didn't have long until their match with the USC Trojans, having made it to semifinals and if they win, they'd be facing the Ravens at Castle Evermore. Their win at finals is important; Johnny's life depends on it. Taeyong stares at his hands and wonders how he'd gotten himself into this. A few months ago, he would never have thought he'd give a shit about Johnny. 

But he's here, worrying about winning the championship because it's a life and death situation. He had started the year off thinking it'd be just like the last, instead he's made into striker to replace Johnny, he'd help the Foxes win enough matches to make it to semifinals, he'd changed his looks and stopped letting himself be glued to his brother every second of the day. He had found out the least expected thing about Johnny and how he'd buried those feelings deep down for the last four years. If he had known, Taeyong thinks he would have made an effort to at least be friends. 

Would he have kissed Johnny then? Maybe. He knows he was fueled with the thoughts of nothingness that drove him to kissing Johnny that first time. The idea of having nothing to look forward to after graduation scared him into thinking he wouldn't ever experience this again, whatever _this_ is.

Last night, he'd wanted Johnny to kiss him. He felt that unfamiliar warmth in his chest and chose to welcome it and he'd let Johnny kiss him until his brain felt like cotton. He'd dreamt of holding his hand in what looks like a future. So how, really, did his promise to support grow into _this_?

"I never know what goes on in your head," Johnny finally speaks up after a silence that stretched on forever. "It's loud but I never know. I think that's the only thing in common you have with your brother."

Taeyong scoffs playfully, "Besides the obvious?"

"Your face?" Johnny shakes his head as he leans against the railing next to Taeyong. "Very obvious difference. He's not as pretty as you."

This makes Taeyong laugh because it's ridiculous. He'd stood next to Ty and looked in the mirror before. Even he couldn't tell them apart. "You sound stupid. We're identical."

Johnny smiles, like he'd been wanting to see Taeyong smile too. "What are you thinking about, really?"

Taeyong shrugs, "Finals. Our kiss. Me. You."

"Us?"

"Is there an us?"

Johnny pauses, staring off into space. "I want there to be."

"Can there be an us?"

The taller of the two taps the bottom of his crutch against the ground. "Maybe not until after finals."

"You're so set on dying," Taeyong says, sounding a little too sad it surprises even himself. "Don't you see a future beyond that? If you want an 'us', why can't you talk like there will be?"

Another pause, and then Johnny says quietly. "Do you see a future beyond finals?"

"Not before I kissed you the first time," Taeyong tells him honestly. "I'll be honest and tell you it's the reason I even kissed you. I was scared I won't have this later, when it's all over. I wanted to know if I'd feel anything. I haven't felt anything real in so long."

"And your verdict?"

Taeyong looks at him and he feels fondness in his chest. He smiles, looking away again. "I wanted you to kiss me last night. Is that enough to answer your question?"

Johnny nods, his smile a little too pleased. "If there is an us, before or after finals, do you think it'd work out?"

"I don't know," Taeyong murmurs, tapping his fingers over the metal railing. "I guess it would if we work hard enough."

Another minute goes by and Johnny's voice is hopeful when he speaks again. "Do you still think I'd leave?"

Taeyong looks at him, at his face and he realizes Johnny's eyes are honey brown and his mouth looks pink and soft and he decides he wants to remember him forever. "Everyone leaves."

It clearly isn't the answer Johnny wants to hear but he stares at Taeyong and Taeyong returns his gaze unblinking. When Johnny pulls him into a kiss, Taeyong lets himself melt into Johnny's arms and he lets himself want, lets himself hope and it's enough to make it all feel like it'll be okay.

  
  


* * *

  
  


With the game against the Trojans just a week away, Taeyong is getting a little nervous. He goes to practice every day and night to improve and while Johnny's praises are a rare occurrence, Taeyong welcomes it and uses it as motivation. Despite what Coach had said, he didn't end up appointing anyone as captain so now the Foxes are leaderless. 

It doesn't really matter; everyone still listens to Johnny. 

There haven't been anymore threatening messages for him since the last one but Ty reminds him to be on alert at all times. Taeyong doesn't need to be told twice. It's scary as it is and he doesn't want anything bad happening to any one of the Foxes. Luckily, nothing else had come up.

It's Friday night after practice and Taeyong, Ty and Doyoung had just gotten back to their suite. Doyoung mumbles something about being exhausted as he stumbles into their shared room and before long, Taeyong hears his soft snoring even from outside the room. He lingers at his desk to see if he has any more assignments to get done but it's hard to focus when his eyes are barely open. In the end, Taeyong turns off the lights outside before finding his way into the room.

Ty is still awake, scrolling through his phone as he laid on his bed at the bottom bunk. Doyoung sleeps on the other side of the room and Taeyong at the top bunk. The idea of climbing up is dreadful and when Ty notices Taeyong lingering by the ladder, he puts his phone face down on his chest.

"Trouble?" He asks, his own way of asking if everything's okay. 

Taeyong thinks about all those times he'd wanted to be close to his brother and he says, "Could you make room for me?"

There's a pause. "It's a single bed."

Taeyong doesn't say anything. They're silent for so long Taeyong considers forgetting he'd even asked until Ty scoots to lie on his left, leaving enough room for Taeyong to slip in. It helps that they're both small-sized and skinny. He carefully climbs into bed next to Ty, laying on his right so he could face his brother. For a long time, he laid just like that.

Eventually, Ty puts his phone away and he closes his eyes. He must feel Taeyong's gaze on him, because he says, "Sleep."

"Can't sleep."

Ty opens his eyes, "Are you going to stare at me all night? Stop it."

Taeyong sighs and he looks away, at least until Ty has his eyes closed again. It's not always that he gets to study his brother but this close, Taeyong sees the difference between them. Ty isn't asleep so there's no peace in his face. He's too wary, too awake to let himself fall into sleep. Taeyong knows his restlessness stems from all those years their stepmother would pull him out of his room in the middle of the night when she'd thought Ty broke one of her favorite glasses, forgetting the fact that she was the one who did when she was drunk. 

Her hands were always heavy when they landed on them and the sting lingered for days. Taeyong is suddenly swarmed with guilt that he hadn't been brave enough to protect Ty the way Ty had protected him. 

"Ty?" Taeyong murmurs quietly. Ty doesn't open his eyes but he nods his head to tell Taeyong he's listening. "I'm sorry."

Ty clenches his jaw, "Don't say stupid things."

"I'm not. I'm just sorry." Taeyong continues to explain. "I don't think I've been the best brother to you. I hope you'll forgive me. Someday, maybe. Ty?"

His brother opens his eyes then, staring up at the bottom of Taeyong's top bunk. "I'll hit you if you don't shut up, Yong."

"No, listen," Taeyong presses. "Could you tell Aunt Alice I kept a photo of me and mom inside that drawer in my old room? She'll know. I want you to have it."

Ty turns to him then, eyes glaringly cold even in the dark. "Tell her yourself. And you can keep it. I don't want it."

Taeyong knows better than to push Ty so he doesn't argue but he doesn't leave Ty's bed either. He closes his eyes and lets sleep take over. In his dreams, Ty is crying and it's the first time Taeyong had ever seen him cry. In the morning, he wakes up with his head on his brother's shoulder and Ty doesn't push him away even though he, too, is awake.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Coach Nakamoto named Yukhei the new captain, exactly four days before their Away match against the Trojans. Taeyong thinks Yukhei would have been happier had it been under any other circumstances. He would have been one anyway when Yuta graduates. Now his time as captain came too early. 

Still, Yukhei pushed on. He has Johnny at his back to guide him and drills and scrimmage become merciless as they get closer and closer to winning a chance at finals. 

Whatever sentimental moment Taeyong shared with Ty the night he slept in Ty's bed is gone because Ty went back to ignoring him whenever he could. Taeyong doesn't care. He spends most of his time with Johnny, if not on the court then in the library, where they start with studying but end up just talking. They don't talk about Exy or the Ravens.

Johnny tells him about his good childhood memories. He'd expressed anger at his parents once when he had that breakdown, for leaving him too soon to pay up their debt, but it's obvious that he knows they only made that loan for his sake. They'd wanted Exy for him and he had loved the sport enough to be thankful he got to start young. 

Taeyong had known only bits and pieces of the story, how Johnny had spent his time in juvie, where he was rumored to have started playing Exy. He knows it's false now and it didn't surprise him; Johnny's too good at the sport to have started so late. His time at juvie wasn't so bad, Johnny claims. Meeting Yukhei there was like finding a brother he never had.

In turn, Taeyong tells Johnny about his good memories, most of which were from when his mother was alive. He remembers spending hours at the playground and crying when she couldn't take him outside for the day. He tells Johnny about going to Castle Evermore, because those are the days their father was too happy to let his wife beat them.

"Is it crossing the boundary if I asked you about your scar?" Johnny asks as they make their way out of the library. It's Thursday and practice isn't in another two hours. 

Taeyong's hand automatically lifts to touch the scar. He remembers the pain, even though it hadn't been the worst. Telling Johnny parts of his trauma means he's letting him in but Taeyong thinks it's too late to keep him out anyway. 

"My stepmother wasn't very nice," He says, clutching his books to his chest. "I've had to live with her and our dad for, I dunno, seven years? My mom died when I was eleven and her lawyer came to tell me I had a dad and a brother."

Johnny frowns, "Wait, so you didn't know?"

"Didn't believe it until I saw him for myself," Taeyong shakes his head. The story no longer makes him sad so he's smiling. "We were way more identical back then. I didn't have this."

He taps at his scar as he continues to walk slowly, matching Johnny's pace. Johnny's quiet for a moment. "What about your dad? Was he nice?"

Taeyong makes a face and he helps Johnny down the few steps off the pavement so they could walk across Perimeter Road. "Dad was a coward. He was an Exy fan and the only times Ty and I tolerate him were when he brought us to watch live games. He was too busy with work all the time and left her in charge to… 'Discipline' us."

"She hit you?"

"Ty more than me," Taeyong shrugs, looking into the shops that lined the streets. Four years he'd been enrolled in Palmetto State and he doesn't remember ever going into any of these shops. "I honestly don't think she could tell us apart. Sometimes she could get angry at me and grabbed him thinking he was me. And he let her. When we grew older, we started looking a little different. Ty wasn't as skinny as me; he'd joined Exy first. And then I got the scar and Ty decided we should go back to looking exactly the same. He just wanted to protect me, I guess. He'd take my blame and ignore me if I told him he shouldn't."

Johnny listens, asking no questions until Taeyong is done talking. "He has a funny way of showing that he cares."

Taeyong laughs, nodding. "He's been through a lot. I could get angry at him whenever he makes decisions for me but in the end I know that he did it to protect me. I've known him long enough to know he wouldn't do anything for his own safety but would go to lengths for mine."

"He loves you."

Another nod. "I know he does. He knows I love him too."

The Fox Tower is already in sight and Taeyong glances at his watch to see the time. Practice is in less than two hours so he still gets some time to spend with Johnny. They fall into another casual conversation, to which Taeyong is grateful for. Johnny doesn't look like he feels sorry for him and there's something liberating knowing he isn't a sorry case.

Once back at the dorm, Johnny walks past his own room so he could send Taeyong to his. It's ridiculous but also endearing. He smiles at the taller and it's returned before Johnny leans down to press a kiss to his lips. It's brief and Taeyong's eyes closed but Johnny isn't quick enough.

The door to his suite opens and Doyoung pauses mid-step and wide-eyed. "When the fuck did this happen?"

Taeyong flushes, because he doesn't know if it is even a _this._ He looks to Johnny and clears his throat when Ty appears right behind Doyoung. The look on his face is clear that he had seen what Doyoung had seen and it makes Taeyong just a little nervous. If he's lucky, Ty won't comment.

Doyoung looks like he's still waiting for some kind of explanation, Johnny looks sheepish, and Ty says, "Five minutes or you're walking to the stadium."

"What?" Taeyong says as Ty moves past him, his duffel bag over a shoulder, apparently ready to leave for practice. "Practice isn't in another hour."

Ty calls back over his shoulder, "We're practicing early."

Taeyong huffs as he watches Ty disappear down the stairs, turning back to find an expectant Doyoung, who looks between him and Johnny as if one of them owes him an explanation. Taeyong stares at him blankly, determined not to be the one with the story Doyoung needs. When neither of them said anything, Doyoung sighs and points an accusatory finger at Taeyong. "I'm grilling Johnny for answers."

"Okay," Taeyong says, gently brushing his fingers over Johnny's elbow in a way to tell him that he's going. "You do that while I try to make it to the car on time."

He catches Johnny's eyes briefly and they share a smile before he goes to grab his things quickly. He barely makes it, because Ty's already started the car before he'd even taken the last step down the stairs. But he makes it and saves himself from having to walk all the way to the stadium.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Taeyong has a five-minute pleasure of meeting the Trojans' captain, Xiao Dejun, just before the team is made to change into their uniform. He's excited to be playing against the Trojans, if he were to be honest. If any of the NCAA teams is a professional, Taeyong can't name any other that isn't USC's Exy team. 

His nerves are off the roof today and everyone is talking about Yuta's sudden transfer to Edgar Allan and how the Foxes are handling it. He avoids the press and lets their new captain, Coach and Johnny work out what to tell the world. He plans to only focus on winning semifinals and if they manage to defeat the Trojans, in two weeks they would finally face the Ravens. Taeyong's heart is skyrocketing.

They warm up and run a few laps in the inner ring of the court before they put on their gear, just fifteen minutes before the game starts. Yukhei gathers them for a team huddle and everyone is hyped up the moment they dispersed.

Jaehyun is coming in as a sub striker in the first half. Yukhei could usually hold up for a full game, but Coach assigned Doyoung to sub him anyway just in case. Taeyong would step in for the second half, as usual. The Foxes lack in number, almost always, so finding subs is an almost impossible feat. 

They'll work, though. Taeyong has faith. 

When the announcer starts the game, Taeyong watches from the Away bench, next to Johnny, observing the way the Trojans play their game. The first half is favoring the USC team and Taeyong feels like his heart is about to explode. Ty is blocking most of the Trojans' attempts but Yukhei seems almost distracted. He doesn't score and Jaehyun manages to steal one goal for the Foxes.

At half time, Johnny has a lot to say and the Foxes are too out of breath to fight back, but mostly because they know Johnny's making a valid point. Taeyong couldn't blame Johnny for being angry; it's their only chance to face Mark.

"Why isn't your head in the game, Yukhei?" Johnny is spitting at their new captain. "We have forty-five minutes left in the game and we've scored _twice!_ You think we can make it to finals with two goals?"

It's harsh but no one counters it with anything else. If Yuta had been around, there would at least be someone who would keep Johnny in check, but everyone knows Johnny is tense. They'd all seen that threat on Ty's car, even though they don't know what Johnny is truly facing. Even Ty doesn't comment but Taeyong knows he'd react violently if Johnny so much as lay a finger on Yukhei. 

While the Foxes drink up and discuss ways to defeat the Trojans, Taeyong takes the moment to find Johnny. He finds him just outside the locker room. It's unfamiliar territory because they're playing at USC so he figures Johnny wouldn't be too far away. 

"Johnny," Taeyong approaches slowly, waiting for Johnny to acknowledge his presence before he says anything.

Johnny looks up at him and his features soften, like he needed to see Taeyong to calm down. "Tae,"

Taeyong thinks about the look in Johnny's eyes and he wonders briefly if Johnny would ever leave him. "We'll do our best, okay? You know we always give our best shot at second half. We'll face the Ravens in two weeks, I know it."

"I know _you'll_ give your best shot," Johnny corrects him. "I'm glad I made you striker. What were you doing as a dealer the last four years?"

Taeyong laughs, rolling his eyes. "I'm not built for striker."

"You've gotten us at least five wins. That's bullshit."

They share a moment that's quickly interrupted when Coach steps up to them. "Hey, none of that teen romance right now. Taeyong, gear up. You might be our only hope tonight."

He doesn't need to be told twice. While the rest of the team catches up, Taeyong pulls on his gloves and his helmet. He tests the weight of his racquet like it would change whenever it isn't in his hands and he meets Johnny's eyes for a second before he steps into the court as soon as his name is called.

Whatever Johnny had spewed at Yukhei seems to work because Yukhei plays with a new found drive. The Trojans aren't violent in these games and they'd kept a long history of never getting carded ever. Their patience frustrates Taeyong because the Foxes can't afford to get carded and the Trojans would never do anything to break history.

In the end, the forty-five minutes of the second half feels like a lifetime. The Trojans are worn out but so are the Foxes. Wendy's face is red, visible even under the helmet she's wearing, Doyoung's speed is slowing and Hendery had tripped over his feet one time too many. The only one with the same energy as when they'd first stepped into the court is Ty but the focus in his face tells Taeyong his motivation isn't Johnny's life. It's Taeyong's safety. It's always Taeyong.

Ty clacks his racquet against the wall and calls for Hendery. He says something in a language Taeyong doesn't understand but from the way recognition colors Hendery's face, Taeyong could only guess it's Portuguese. Hendery speaks it on the off chance that he gets a call from his cousin but Taeyong hadn't known Ty was learning. He's impressed to say the least.

Whatever Ty had said to Hendery, Taeyong observes keenly as Hendery moves. He passes the ball to Wendy, who runs and passes it back to him. Taeyong sees the opening immediately; as soon as Hendery's body pivots in his direction, Taeyong is moving. 

He catches the ball and attempts a goal. The Trojan's goalie starts for it, ready to block and smack the ball away, but in the last second he trips and Taeyong's ball hits right into goal.

It was a lucky shot, but a winning one.

Five-four, Foxes' favor.

The stadium bursts into a loud, thunderous cheer. Yukhei pulls Ty into a lung-crushing hug and Taeyong watches as Yukhei takes off both their helmets and kisses his brother. Taeyong thinks that's both stupid and brave but from the way Ty kisses him back, he knows Yukhei would live to play finals.

The victory is tasteful. Taeyong could almost touch it. The kiss between Yukhei and Ty makes him feel something. He doesn't know what exactly but he turns his head to look for Johnny, because it seems right to and Johnny's face is the only one he wants to see for this to feel real.

Johnny's already looking at him when their eyes meet. Taeyong smiles and Johnny returns it. There's something in the way he's looking at Taeyong that makes his skin burn, something like pride, and something else like love. 

Taeyong doesn't know love but if he was lucky enough to find it, he wishes it would feel like this.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Everyone claims to be too tired to do any celebrating when they finally got back to the Fox Tower but as soon as Coach let them off the bus and said they'll talk about the game at Monday's practice, the Foxes are already planning to go somewhere near campus, something about getting drunk because they deserve it. Surprisingly, Ty agrees to follow. 

Taeyong doesn't feel like drinking. He doesn't feel like talking about the game or talking about anything at all. Every step he takes up the stairs to the hallway, all he could think about is the phantom feeling of Johnny's mouth on his own. He doesn't feel like celebrating. He feels like kissing Johnny.

Most of them disappear into their rooms with haste, presumably to keep their things. He lingers with Hendery, Seulgi and Wendy and listens to them talk about places to go to for the night. Johnny's telling Taeil to take care of the Foxes, which leads Taeyong to assume he would be staying.

When the door to his room opens and Ty steps out, their eyes meet and Taeyong doesn't waste time to say, "I'm staying."

Ty considers him for a second before he nods, "Keep your phone with you."

"Always. Have fun, Ty," Taeyong smiles though he doesn't expect Ty to return it. "You were amazing tonight."

Tonight, however, is full of surprises, because Ty smiles back at him and it isn't the sly, or sometimes maniacal smiles he lets people see. His smile is genuine. He pulls Taeyong into a brief hug and whispers just loud enough, "You too, Taeyong."

Leaving Taeyong stunned into silence, Ty completely brushes past Johnny without acknowledging him as he heads for the stairs. One by one, the rest of the Foxes follow until all there's left is Johnny by his door and Taeyong lingering between his room and Johnny's. They look at each other and Taeyong thinks about the last time Johnny had kissed him, a week ago right in front of his door and they'd gotten caught. 

Except the dorms are empty now. 

"Didn't feel like celebrating?" Johnny's the first to break the silence, his sheepish smile growing incredibly hard not to love. When Taeyong shrugs, he asks, "Feel like doing anything?"

Taeyong doesn't let himself shy away. "I want to kiss you."

Surprise takes over Johnny's features but it's fleeting and Taeyong takes that opening to close the short distance between them. He takes Johnny's face in his hands and kisses him and it's nothing like the kisses they'd shared before because this is hungry and needy and all-consuming. He kisses him, hard and demanding and every time Johnny pulls back for air, Taeyong chases his lips to kiss him harder. 

He doesn't know whose hand reached out to open the door to Johnny's suite but one of them did and they tumble into it with lack of finesse and nearly tripped, though that could have been the fault of Johnny's crutches. Taeyong laughs into Johnny's mouth but it's soon replaced with a moan as Johnny returns to kissing him. 

They laugh again when Johnny groans in pain, his injured leg acting up in the worst possible time, but Taeyong doesn't mind. He makes sure the door is locked before helping Johnny down onto the couch, because having Johnny remain standing would be a problem for the both of them. And they've come too far for Taeyong to want this to stop.

"I'll take care of you," Taeyong says quietly, his words pressed into Johnny's jaw, littering the length of it with soft kisses that he soon trails down the column of his neck. "Yes or no?"

Johnny takes a moment to collect himself enough to ask, "What?"

"Can I have you?" Taeyong asks more specifically. "Yes or no?"

"Yes," Johnny nods, almost too eagerly, but he leans back and doesn't ask any more questions. 

So Taeyong does what his heart set out to do. He kisses Johnny again, slowly and softly licking into the male's mouth, tasting him and memorizing just how soft Johnny's tongue feels swirling around his own. He kisses down Johnny's clothed chest and revels in the sound of Johnny's breath hitching in his throat. Taeyong decides he likes it.

He lifts the hem of Johnny's shirt to reveal his defined muscles; even injured, Johnny's body is god-like. Taeyong had obviously noticed before, in the locker room when Johnny removed his uniform after a game or practice, and even when the team hit the gym together, but he'd never looked at Johnny this way. He didn't know he'd see anyone this way.

In the past, his experiences had been quick and meaningless, a one time thing he doesn't remember details of. There hadn't been any emotions involved and he wasn't necessarily attracted to them sexually. They were cases of being human and a teenage boy experimenting, though sex had never really been something he actively thinks about.

His fingers graze over the ridges of Johnny's muscled abdomen, down to where he could undo the button and zipper of his jeans. Johnny makes quick work of pulling his shirt up over his head, tossing it aside and meeting Taeyong's eyes. He smiles and Taeyong couldn't help the way his own lips curl into one to match. 

Johnny's already hard, from the way his cock springs free the moment Taeyong pulls down his jeans and briefs in a single tug. He eventually kicks off the pair, allowing Taeyong better access but before Taeyong could do anything else, Johnny curls his fingers around the back of his neck and leans down to kiss him. Soft, Johnny's so soft. Taeyong's chest is warm.

He's a little dazed from the kiss, heavy eyes blinking rapidly when Johnny finally pulls away and it takes him a second to remember what he's on his knees for. When it does return to him, Taeyong wastes no time spitting onto his palm and curling his hand around the base of Johnny's thick girth.

The taller's breath hitches once again and it drives Taeyong to repeat the act of spitting, except this time on the fat tip of Johnny's cock. He gives the veiny shaft an experimental stroke; once and twice and when it brings a sinful moan out of Johnny, Taeyong takes him into his mouth. 

Johnny's surprise has him bucking his hips up, nearly choking Taeyong and he cusses, half laughing. "Shit, I'm sorry."

Taeyong pulls away just enough to smile up at him and being drunk on pleasure must have turned him into someone else entirely because he puckers up his lips, expecting a kiss. He's lucky Johnny notices because the taller of the two leans down again to kiss him encouragingly. When they part, Taeyong returns his mouth around Johnny and this time he takes him down his throat and lets his tongue press flat against the underside on his way back up. Johnny cusses again. 

He suckles at the reddened tip, maintaining eye contact because Johnny looks so fucking sexy like this and Taeyong didn't think it would ever feel this good giving. His own pleasure doesn't seem to matter; all he wants is to make Johnny feel good. And Johnny seems to love it.

Lack of practice tires his jaw a little too soon and Johnny notices when Taeyong lets out a whine. He pulls Taeyong off his cock and wordlessly guides him back up onto his feet. He's thankful to himself for deciding to put on sweats after the game because Johnny has no difficulty pushing them off his hips. He doesn't need to be told to kick them off.

They share a soft laugh as Johnny pulls him down to straddle his hips, clumsily bumping heads and Taeyong squealing a soft 'ouch' before they laugh again. Johnny pulls him down to kiss. He's hard and leaking and he gasps the moment Johnny's large hand curls around both their erections and begin stroking them in a timely pace. 

"Johnny…" Taeyong moans, leaning back and using his palms to hold onto Johnny's knees so he doesn't fall back. "Fuck, Johnny.. Don't stop. Please."

Johnny's free hand bunches up the hem of Taeyong's shirt, his fingers clenched into a fist so hard Taeyong could see the way his knuckles turn white. He pulls Taeyong closer without stopping the quickening strokes of his hand. "I got you… I got you, baby. Fuck."

It's almost embarrassing how close Taeyong already is but Johnny isn't too far behind, if the way his breathing grow heavier by the second is any indication. He presses his forehead against Johnny's, panting as Johnny's hand brings them both to their climax and Johnny muffles his gasps and moans with a kiss. 

When Taeyong could breathe steadily again, he opens his eyes and starts giggling into Johnny's mouth and Johnny returns it with a laugh of his own. They kiss again and after, Taeyong buries his face into Johnny's neck. He thinks about happiness and wonders if it all starts like this; warm and full.

  
  


* * *

  
  


No matter how many times he'd traveled to West Virginia to watch the Ravens play at Castle Evermore, it never ceases to amaze him just how massive and cool it is to be standing in that very stadium, seating thousands and thousands of fans that came, mostly, to support the number one NCAA Exy team. The Ravens' games outsold every others each year.

He remembers wishing he would be good enough to train with the Ravens, going to bed after every live game he went to with an energy that is unmatched. When he was younger, he would talk and talk about it to Ty and even though Ty had little words, his eyes were bright. Exy makes Ty human.

Today, though. Today Taeyong is here as a player of the opposing team. There is no envy or any sort of admiration towards Edgar Allan's Exy team; especially not when Johnny's life depends on this final game. It's cruel to think about. How could someone's life mean so little?

Taeyong isn't ready to lose someone he'd, maybe foolishly, let into his life. But it isn't over until he's dead; Taeyong won't idly sit by if they lose, knowing the captain of the Ravens has Johnny under his family's power. Johnny won't die so easily.

He finally has something meaningful. Exy could only bring him so far, even if he does become Court and play it professionally. Sure, it hadn't meant anything when he met Johnny four years ago but the past year had changed so many things and now, whenever he closes his eyes, Taeyong sees himself in the US Court, with Johnny and his brother. 

It feels like a pipe dream.

Coach is nervous, Taeyong could see. He would see Yuta on the court for the first time since Yuta left today and, truthfully, Taeyong's nerves aren't helping him either. Playing with Yuta is his normal, playing against isn't. It shows in the way his fingers are shaking as he stares at his own reflection in the locker room, in his orange jersey, to the point that looking at himself stirs up an anxiousness he doesn't know how to calm, so he stares at the number five on his uniform.

Ty seems just as restless, if the way he's tossing things into his assigned locker is any sign. Taeyong considers talking to him but he doesn't know if it's a good idea to be approaching his twin when he's visibly unsettled. 

Johnny is currently outside talking to Coach and the rest of the Foxes are slowly changing into their uniforms. Everyone moves at a slow pace, as if not moving too fast means they won't have to face the Ravens too soon. He can't blame them.

"Hey, Taeyong," Yukhei approaches him, bringing him out of his straying thoughts. He speaks again when Taeyong acknowledges his presence. "You should talk to Ty. I think something is getting to him but he won't talk to me. He's shaking, Yong."

Taeyong's own trembling fingers ball into a fist but Yukhei might have already seen it anyway. He nods his head and flashes the captain a smile before he makes his way over to Ty, who's already seated on the bench, looking bored even though his leg is bouncing on the ball of his foot.

He sits next to Ty and holds out his shaking hand, "Is this a twin thing?"

Ty clenches his fists. He's quiet for so long Taeyong had to think of something else to say but just as he's about to, Ty speaks up. "When she gave you that scar, I had a feeling."

"Feeling?"

His brother wouldn't look at him but he spreads out his fingers next to Taeyong's and now they're looking at a pair of shaking hands. "My hands were shaking, like this. I came home and there's broken glass on the kitchen floor and you were fucking studying with a swollen eye. I thought you were stupid. I thought you'd gone blind. But my hands stopped shaking when I opened your room door and found you alive. Why am I shaking now, Taeyong?"

Taeyong lifts his gaze to meet his brother's, trying to make sense of things. His heart is racing faster than before but he wants to tell Ty that it doesn't mean anything. "It's normal to be nervous. It's a big game tonight."

Ty looks at him like he was stupid. "I don't get nervous. Tonight's not going to end well."

Pure, genuine fear strikes Taeyong like someone had slammed open a locker door and hit him right in his face. All he could think about is them losing the game, losing Johnny. He clenches his jaw and holds out his hand again, looking at his brother and not knowing what exactly he's expecting. Ty stares at his hand and then he closes his own around Taeyong's and squeezes.

For that brief moment, Taeyong breathes easily.

Castle Evermore's locker room is dark, black from floor to ceiling and the only colors bringing life to this dreadful place are the orange duffel bags the Foxes brought inside. Ty lets go of Taeyong's hand so he could get off the bench, grabbing his gear and then leaving the room without a glance back. 

He doesn't close the door and Johnny limps into the room with a smile Taeyong knows he's trying hard to maintain. The pressure is heavy on him, he'd said just this morning. It was one thing playing for his own life, it's another knowing he has to depend on the rest of them so he could live.

Something in Taeyong's heart breaks. 

Johnny tells everyone that they'll do well, just before Coach enters and commands everyone to do warmups and run laps before the game starts. Taeyong is a ball of nerves as they step out onto the court, intimidated by the small sea of orange that had come to support them. The black and red colors of the Ravens' fans fill up nearly the entire stadium.

The Ravens' song is even more intimidating as it plays throughout the stadium while each one of the players step out. Taeyong could see Mark from all the way here at the Away bench, carrying a pair of proud shoulders in his black and red jersey. To the world, that's their number one striker.

To Taeyong, that's his enemy. 

He'd never interacted with Mark or any of the Ravens. Taeyong only has the basic knowledge that Mark's family funded many of these games and, according to Johnny, had gone under pretend charity by helping people financially. Johnny's parents had borrowed a lot of their money to give Johnny the future he deserves and their plans had been to make Johnny Court, and his income would have been more than enough to pay up their debt.

But fate had cruel plans and Mark's always been allowed to do whatever he pleases to people his parents are displeased with. Johnny doesn't have much of an option, but he seems to trust Mark's words. Now all Taeyong has to do is help him win this game and his freedom.

Their freedom. 

The Ravens are the first to be sent into the court. Taeyong tries to remember each name the announcer mentions. Mark goes first and when Yuta's name is mentioned, each one of the Foxes tense up and the orange fans fill the stadium with boos and shouts of 'traitor!'. If Yuta is affected, he doesn't show it.

When the announcer calls for the Foxes, Taeyong is on his feet even though he won't be up until the second half. He watches as Yukhei and Mark toss the coin to see who gets first serve. Mark wins for his team and then the game begins. 

Good doesn't do justice to what the Ravens are capable of. They play like they were born on this court. Almost every attempt Yukhei or Jaehyun makes is easily blocked by their goalie. Taeil, on the other hand, fails to block five of the Ravens attempts. By half time, the Ravens are winning by five-two. The red numbers on the scoreboard are starting to drip in Taeyong's vision.

During the fifteen-minute half time, everyone is tense. Coach pushes them into doing better if they want to win but Taeyong doesn't linger in the locker room, afraid that if he soaked up too much of the team's hopelessness, he'd go downhill and not be able to play tonight. 

He stays outside the locker room and tries to even out his breathing. His chest is hurting from how fast his heart is beating and when he looks down at his hands, they're shaking harder than they had before the game started, palms sweaty. He can't look for Ty without getting sentimental again and wanting a hug or something but it feels like a need. 

Leaning back against the wall, Taeyong closes his eyes and tries to calm his breathing. When he opens them again, Ty is standing right in front of him, staring. 

"Got your head in the game, brother?" Ty asks.

Taeyong swallows, nodding once. "Just nerves. I'll be fine."

Ty looks away for a second, his jaw ticking and every muscle in his body tense. When their eyes meet again, Ty curls his fingers around the back of Taeyong's neck and let their foreheads meet. "It's not over until we're dead, right?"

Taeyong nods again, squeezing his eyes shut. He doesn't know why Ty is saying all these things but it feels right. It feels right to remember. "And we're not dying tonight."

"No, we're not," Ty agrees. He pulls back and his brown eyes are filled with fear. "Not on my watch. Win the game, brother."

Taeyong nods for the nth time, because winning is the only way. 

As the Foxes pile back out of the locker room, Taeyong follows them to the court. He'd already put on his gear and gloves, fingers gripping hard around his racquet. His nerves are skyrocketing but at least his hands are steady. His head is in the game. Johnny's life is motivation.

"Taeyong."

Taeyong turns his head and immediately finds Johnny's eyes. He tries a smile but he thinks his face is crumpled into a grimace. His throat feels tight, like he might cry if he speaks. 

"It's okay," Johnny says when they're close enough. He lifts a hand to brush the back of it over Taeyong's cheek and he's smiling even though he looks a little sad. "Thank you. For saving me. I wish I'd loved you sooner."

Taeyong tightens his grip around the stick, staring unblinking at Johnny. The taller's words ring loud in his ears. _I wish I'd loved you sooner._ "It's not over yet."

Johnny nods, looking up at the scoreboard. "Think we can get four goals in the next forty-five minutes?"

"Do you believe in me?" Taeyong asks and he allows a smile.

"More than anything," Johnny beams and Taeyong thinks he might kiss him but he takes Taeyong's helmet and puts it on him, pulling the visor down and tugging at it gently. "I'll kiss you once we beat the Ravens."

Taeyong calls it motivation.

The announcer calls for the subs' names and Taeyong steps within the glass walls with Ty close at his back. He first finds Mark, whose eyes are on him, and then Yuta, who refuses to look at him. Taeyong can't help but wish they were dead. 

Once everyone is at their position, the game starts again. It's long and brutal and each time a Raven gets carded out of the game, they send in another replacement that is just as good. Ty blocks every single one of their attempts, which keeps them at the five-goal mark from first half, but their goalie maintains mirrored effort and Taeyong, Yukhei and Jaehyun couldn't get in any score. 

Mark is smug and Taeyong thinks that should be his fall. His overconfidence that the Ravens would win any match they ever participated made him underestimate the Foxes and Taeyong believes in his team's abilities with all his heart. Twenty minutes until the game is over, Yukhei scores once, Jaehyun another and then Taeyong. Five-five.

The Ravens are just as frustrated as Mark seems to be. Taeyong thinks maybe luck is on his side, or maybe his drive stems from the fact that he still wants to see Johnny in the morning. The world is so clueless. He won't let Mark win.

With ten minutes left of the game, Taeyong feels the same frustration. They're at a tied score and just one more goal would determine whether or not Johnny gets to live.

When one of the Ravens gets carded and Yukhei is allowed a penalty shot, Taeyong tries to focus but Mark is close enough that he could hear what he says, though he doesn't know it's directed at him until he notices no one responded.

"Did you say goodbye?" Mark asks, his voice just above condescending and he has a smirk on his lips when Taeyong decides to give him the attention. "If you haven't, you should. He's looking right at you."

Taeyong clenches his jaw and Yukhei misses the shot. The game continues.

It's not fair. It's not fair and Taeyong is angry and upset and all he wants is to destroy any chances that Mark would get to take Johnny away. He finds the opening when Mark has the ball, and he doesn't hesitate running full speed and crashing the Ravens' captain right into the wall. Mark is laughing, fueling Taeyong's anger, but Yuta uses the distraction to steal the ball and away he goes.

The victory lasts only a second when Ty blocks his attempt.

Ty is shouting in Portuguese again and this time Hendery looks hesitant. He doesn't have much of a time frame so Taeyong watches as Hendery makes a split second decision and passes the ball to Sooyoung, who had stepped in as a sub for Wendy and playing dealer. Two minutes to go till the game is over. Taeyong is exhausted and hopeless.

His fingers are growing numb. Mark's mocking laughter rings in his ears. _Did you say goodbye?_ He hasn't said goodbye because they aren't taking Johnny from him, but now he feels like he should have at least kissed him before he left.

One minute. 

Yukhei is shouting at him and Taeyong's focus singles out on the ball. It's passed on from dealer to dealer and at the very last ten seconds, Taeyong managed to scoop it right into his net. He doesn't think, doesn't hesitate, as he swings his racquet and throws the ball at the goal. 

His swing brings himself down onto his knees. Taeyong doesn't know if he'd scored but the buzzer goes off and there are roars all around him. Taeyong looks up at the scoreboard.

Six-five, Foxes' favor.

Taeyong thinks he sees his life flash before his eyes but for someone with so little good memories, Taeyong thinks he it didn't look so bad. It looked good, even. And perhaps that's why he lets a smile color his lips. They won and Johnny lives.

As everyone drowns in their own victorious cheer and unexpected loss, Taeyong feels someone pull him up onto his feet. It takes him a moment to be able to steady himself but when he does, he realizes it's Ty's hand curled around his arm. Like the night they won against the Trojans, his brother pulls him into a fierce hug and Taeyong squeezes him.

Ty pulls back and cups the sides of his face, "Are you happy?"

Is he? 

"I am." Taeyong finds himself saying. 

The briefest hint of a smile curls at Ty's lips. "You should be. Your dog's waiting for you. Go."

Taeyong should scold him but he still turns his head to see that Johnny is limping towards him. He smiles, bright and beaming as he removes his helmet. As soon as Johnny reaches him, he pulls the taller down to meet him in a kiss. 

He kisses and kisses and kisses until he forgets how to breathe, forgets that their teammates are all around them, forgets that everyone in the world is watching. There is only Johnny, the freedom he'd just gotten back and them.

Relief is so good when he could enjoy it genuinely.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Mark, Yuta and a boy with a number '03' tattoo on his cheek Taeyong knows as Ten from when he was studying the Ravens, come up to them on their way back to the locker room. Taeyong's first instinct is to grip at Johnny's arm, pulling him back as if his smaller body could protect Johnny.

Ty's immediate reaction, however, is to step up in front of them, like a shield Taeyong knows would hold. 

Mark laughs at this, holding his palms out in surrender position. "Hey, hey, why so hostile? I've just come to give your well-earned congrats."

"In threes?" Jaehyun asks, his voice hard and Taeyong knows he's looking right at Yuta.

Mark's gaze drags slowly from Johnny to Jaehyun. His icy gaze is piercing and even though his lips are still tugged up in a half smile, Taeyong knows he isn't pleased. The moment passes quickly and Mark's attention is on Yuta. "This the dog you mentioned before? Clingy, needy, that one?"

Yuta's nod is subtle and he's staring right at Johnny. Mark snickers, looking back at the team and then at Ty in particular, searching and curious. Then he meets Taeyong's eyes and his mouth parts in realization. "Ah, the famous twins. Right, how could I forget? Good game, huh?"

"You guys go get changed before Coach yells at us," Johnny tells the rest of the Foxes. Jaehyun looks like he wants to stay but Doyoung's fear-stricken expression is enough to tell Taeyong he'd pull Jaehyun with him. 

Each of the Foxes passes by Mark and his number two and three, disappearing into the locker room. The only ones who stay behind are Johnny, Taeyong, Ty and Yukhei. Mark is still wearing his smug smile, hands shoved in his pockets. He's no longer wearing his black and red jersey, which means he'd taken the time the Foxes took to cry about their victory to change into his black attire. 

"We won," Johnny starts again, "The deal is off, Mark."

Mark shrugs, "Of course. Deal's off, whatever. Even though you didn't play for your own life."

"You made sure I couldn't."

"Oh, no, no," Mark laughs, shaking his head. "That's all Yuta. I thought that's pretty fucking brilliant, though. Did it hurt really bad? I heard you could have died if your little boy toy wasn't around to play hero."

Johnny tenses beside Taeyong but Taeyong grips at Johnny's wrist, stopping him from doing anything he might regret. Mark notices this and he smiles at Taeyong, far from friendly.

Ty speaks up, head held high. "If the deal is over then why are we wasting our breaths?"

"Oh, he speaks!" Mark laughs again as if it's the funniest thing while Ten smirks and Yuta stood there, expressionless. "My bad, I thought you're the quiet one and that's the pretentious one. What's your name again? Taeyong?"

Taeyong clenches his jaw. "The deal is over, Mark. We bested you this year. We'll be going now."

He doesn't wait for Mark to give permission as he walks past, helping Johnny limp forward as well. Footsteps behind them tell him Ty and Yukhei are following but Mark doesn't forget to add as they walk away. 

"Mirror images are so interesting, aren't they?" He laughs and Taeyong fights the urge to look back at him. "Don't lose your reflection, Ty!"

Mark's laugh follows them like a phantom sound even as they get changed in the locker room. No one says a thing but when Taeyong catches Johnny's eyes, the worry lines are gone and there's peace that looks good on his handsome face.

It's not over until they're dead, but for now they can be happy.

  
  


* * *

  
  


The ride back to their hotel is loud with the Foxes' excitement; everyone seems to have forgotten the entire exchange with Mark outside the locker room but Taeyong thinks that's good. They deserve to celebrate after the long year they've all had, no matter how exhausted they must be.

Coach says their ride back to South Carolina will be at noon the next day but he doesn't say they couldn't go out to celebrate so as soon as they step out of the bus, everyone is talking getting drunk in their rooms and some of them consider going out to get super late dinner. 

Taeyong lingers behind with Johnny while the rest head on to their respective rooms. Jaehyun seems a little sad but when Coach pulls him aside to talk, Taeyong assumes they'd be speaking about Yuta. He lets it be and walks with Johnny into the lobby of the hotel, duffel bag over one shoulder.

"You got plans with your brother?" Johnny is asking as they step into the elevator. "I thought it'd be nice if we could talk a little. Just, you know, about everything."

Taeyong shakes his head, "Not that he'd tell me if he has plans so, no. I don't think so. We could take a walk? I know some place that's nice and pretty quiet."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm," Taeyong nods just as the elevator opens. "When Ty and I were younger, we liked to sneak out when dad's drunk and asleep and we'd go to this bridge like fifteen minutes away from here. It has a pretty nice view, if you'd like."

Johnny's smiling at him, nodding, and then he leans down to kiss Taeyong's cheek. "I'll go grab a few things from my room and meet you out here?"

"Okay," Taeyong nods, cheeks flushing, as if something as innocent as a kiss on a cheek is more intimate than what they've obviously done before. "I'll take five minutes."

They part ways because Johnny's room is on the other side of the hallway, one he shares with Jaehyun, Doyoung and Taeil. The girls share their room and Hendery got to room with Taeyong, Ty and Yukhei. He's nowhere in the room when Taeyong gets there so he assumes Hendery has gone to join the others. Even Yukhei isn't around.

Ty is standing out in the balcony, puffing away a dying stick of cigarette. He doesn't turn back to see when Taeyong steps into the room but Taeyong makes it a point to approach him, used to telling his brother where he plans to go, what things he wants to do. The habit wouldn't die easily.

"Hey, Ty," Taeyong tries, flashing a smile when Ty glances at him. "I think I'm gonna go take a walk with Johnny."

Ty looks at him properly, "It's late."

"It'll be quick. And if I don't get back quick, I'd be at that bridge we used to go to. That okay?"

His brother considers this. When he lifts his hand to take another puff off his cigarette, Taeyong sees the way his fingers tremble. His smile falters as concern fills him; he hadn't seen Ty look so visibly unsettled and nervous besides back in the locker room before the game earlier. Ty clenches his hand into a fist, "Your phone?"

"With me," Taeyong assures him, even slipping the phone out to show Ty that it's at ninety percent battery. "Are you okay? I promise I won't take too long. I'll be back before two, and I'll message you if plans change."

Ty nods, looking away. "Okay. Keep your phone on you."

Taeyong makes a bold move by squeezing Ty's hand before he steps back, grabbing his wallet as he starts for the door. Just as he does, however, Ty calls for him.

"If you die, I'm bringing you back to life to kill you myself."

Taeyong laughs, waving it off. "I know. See you soon, Ty."

  
  


* * *

  
  


The feeling is odd, Taeyong realizes, as he walks alongside a limping Johnny, thinking about everything that's happened from the time he'd found Johnny in that dark alley to this very moment. Where do they exactly go from here? Johnny is alive and he could make that promise to stay and not leave the way Taeyong fears everyone would. 

That had been the only reason they were holding back; Johnny hadn't known he would live past tonight and he wouldn't be with Taeyong so it won't have to break him if he dies. But he lives. He's alive. Taeyong's never been in such a position to know what or how things should go now. 

They're mostly quiet as they walk along the empty street, with the exception of Johnny talking about how amazing everyone was during the game. The shops are closed at this time of night and the peace and quiet are welcomed. Taeyong has only seen a car or two pass by. 

Once they reach the bridge, Taeyong claims a spot by the railing, where he used to stand against when he was younger while Ty smoked his cigarettes, the box he'd stolen from their father's pocket. It's good to be back. He used to love it.

He hops onto the railing so he could sit, facing the road behind them instead of the water below. He smiles as Johnny approaches him, motioning him forward until Johnny is situated between his legs. "Could I get a kiss?"

Johnny is beaming, whisker lines present on his cheeks. "Just one kiss?"

"Am I allowed to ask for more?"

The taller shrugs, his free hand resting upon Taeyong's hip. He's only using one of his crutches now, even though his doctor advised him to use both. "You're allowed to ask for as many as you want if you say yes."

Taeyong's smile widens, hands cupping the male's cheeks. "Yes to what?"

"To being mine."

Something warm blooms in his chest and he answers with a kiss, leaning down and slotting his lips over Johnny's. It's soft and slow and it feels just right. It feels like they deserve this. When they part, he presses his forehead to Johnny's and he laughs quietly when their noses bump each other.

Johnny's hand slides up and down his side in soothing glides, his smile fond as his other hand reaches up to tap under Taeyong's chin. "I promise I won't leave."

Taeyong laughs, "It's okay if you do, if you decide to someday. I'm not exactly an easy package to handle."

"I think all of us are," Johnny laughs as well but he pulls Taeyong down again for another kiss. 

They get lost in it for a moment, with Taeyong sitting on the railing and Johnny between his legs and it feels like a dream in his wake. Johnny's face in his hands feels warm and fitting and his lips are soft, softer than before and Taeyong thinks he could get used to this. He could get used to Johnny.

The sound of a car door closing parts them away from each other and Taeyong looks up, gaze a little hazy but as soon as he notices the strangers approaching them, he hops off the railing and takes his stand in front of Johnny. His protectiveness has him doing so out of instinct.

There are three of them, guys that are bigger than even Johnny and ones Taeyong knows he stands no chance against. One of them lingers behind, on the phone with someone else, while the two in front leer at them. From the way Johnny tenses up, Taeyong figures he must recognize them. Then he remembers the group of men that'd beat up Johnny to pulp that night. His heart kicks to an overdrive.

"Can we help you with something?" Taeyong says, trying to sound calm, looking from one stranger to another. 

One of them, the bigger one, nods at Johnny. "Think we have unfinished business."

Taeyong fakes a laugh, "I think whatever business you all had is over. You should check it up with your boss man."

"He's on his way," The third man speaks up finally, his words directed at his two friends as he joins them. His smile reminds Taeyong of Mark's. "In the meantime, we're allowed to have fun with these two."

This has Johnny moving, using his crutch to move in front of Taeyong but his movement gives the guys the push to make a move. One of them pulls Johnny back, holding him still and Taeyong's first instinct is to try and push the man away but he's held back by another one of them. 

When the head of Johnny's crutch butts hard into Taeyong's gut, he didn't see it coming. He doubles over and stumbles back, Johnny's shouts sound faint and far away as he tries to recover from the pain. He only finds Johnny briefly before the same blunt end meets his cheekbone and the pain is crushing as he falls onto the ground.

"Stop that!" Johnny is crying out, struggling to free himself from the man's grip but to no avail since his bad leg would hurt too much. "Fuck you! Leave him alone!"

Taeyong tries to scramble back up onto his feet, driven by the need to protect Johnny and ignoring the way his face is throbbing. The two men whose attentions are on him aren't merciful; while the biggest guy holds Johnny up to watch, the other two make sure Taeyong can't get up. Every kick of their strong legs and punch of their fists breaks him. 

He fights back. Instinct makes Taeyong see red and the memory of his stepmother's heavy hands reminds him how to dodge, how to push, how to throw his own punches, even though he never did all those years ago. She was smaller, though, softer and these men are three times his size.

Every time he goes down, Taeyong scrambles back up until he's too weak to do much but get on his hands and knees, heaving and coughing out blood. He could be bleeding internally. He wouldn't know. He's not a doctor. He should have probably paid attention to Doyoung when he went on and on about his classes. Will he even get to see Doyoung again? He wouldn't know.

He spits out the disgusting liquid in his mouth, hating the metallic taste of his own blood and he looks up just in time to see Johnny on the ground as well, his own face battered and bruised and he wonders if this is it. Is this it?

"Johnny-" He tries but his voice is hoarse, presumably from the way he'd been coughing. Johnny is laying back against the railing, trying to catch his breath and there's blood dripping down his chin, blood on his nose, his bad leg is sitting funny, an obvious sign that they'd done more damage to it.

Taeyong tries to crawl over to him but it earns him another kick to his jaw, sending him tumbling back. The pain is searing; it's like his body is on fire and he can't seem to breathe. His vision is blurring too and the sky is darker than he remembered it to be. He rolls over so he could see Johnny, so he could make sure that Johnny is still there. 

The sound of another car pulling up catches all of their attention and he looks to see that a black Maserati now sits behind the white truck the guys came out of. The door opens and Taeyong sees the unmistakable sight of his ex captain. Yuta is carrying his racquet and regards Taeyong for only a second before his attention steers to Johnny. 

And then Taeyong had to watch as Yuta uses the butt of the racquet to swing right across Johnny's face. The sound of wood against bone is bound to haunt his sleep. Johnny doesn't even make a sound; his limp, weak body accepting the new pain by staying still, leaned back against the metal rail, right where Taeyong was seated just earlier. 

"I've had enough of you," Yuta says, his words laced with so much hate Taeyong doesn't think it was possible. "Four years, I've had to sit there in his office and listen to him brag about you. Four years, Johnny. Not a single compliment for how hard I've worked. He wishes you're the son his wife gave birth to. I think he'd love you a little less if you're no good for him."

Johnny coughs and groans as he tries to move. He doesn't look up at Yuta, only Taeyong. "I don't care what you do to me. Just let him go."

Yuta turns his gaze to Taeyong, who'd managed enough to sit up, supported by his sore palms on the granite below him. Yuta smiles as if he'd just noticed him there. "I can't. I told him to stay away. I told you to stay away, Taeyong. You've gotten yourself into this mess."

Taeyong bristles. His head is pounding and every inch of his body hurts. "Fuck you, Nakamoto."

He'd almost forgotten about the guys that were beating them up, reminded only when he feels a knee knock right over his cheek, bringing him back down. It stuns him for a second as he laid on his side, facing Johnny, bloodied fingers laying over the ground in front of him. There's so much blood.

"Now, that's no way to talk to your superior, it that?" An all too familiar voice comes out of nowhere and Taeyong only sees him when he's close enough to Johnny. Mark tuts, clicking his tongue and shaking his head. "Johnny, Johnny, Johnny. So naive. I heard your parents were too. I mean, I'm pretty sure they'd still be alive today if they weren't."

Mark laughs and Taeyong watches as he waves a hand to dismiss the guys. Not long after, Taeyong hears the sound of a car driving away. He tries to even out his breathing, not wanting to pass out when his lungs stop cooperating. He wants to move but pain makes it hard to. He has no energy.

"I thought the deal is off," Johnny mutters, looking up at Mark. "You said you'd let me go if we beat you."

Mark is nodding, "I did. I remember. And I will, don't worry. I'll let you go. I just… I dunno. I'm bored, Johnny. You and your adorable little team made it boring tonight."

He shifts, a hand reaching his back pocket and that's when Taeyong sees the gun in his hand. He panics and he tries to get up but Yuta has a foot pressed at his back, keeping him down and there's nothing Taeyong could do but watch. Mark crouches down to level with Johnny, tapping the mouth of his gun against Johnny's temple.

"I just wanna have fun before I let you go. You know what I think would be fun? I think it'd be fun to see you never walk again." He laughs, getting up and then pointing the gun at Johnny's knee before he pulls the trigger. 

Two gunshots startle Taeyong, making him flinch and it takes him a second to realize that Johnny is screaming. There are tears in Taeyong's eyes, his vision clearing only when he blinks. He reaches a hand out but he could barely lift his arm. Mark notices this and finds amusement in his misery because he's beaming, all teeth and throwing his head back laughing.

"Wait, wait, wait, this is actually really cute," Mark says, bending over to take one of Johnny's hands to tug it forward, mirroring Taeyong's attempt to reach. "Go on, man. Go to him! Ah, how sad, though. Your little protective boy can't help you now, can he?"

Johnny is crying and Taeyong wonders if it's because of the pain or because he's afraid. Taeyong is afraid, for Johnny more than himself, but he wishes he could be closer. He doesn't realize Yuta had already lifted his foot off his back, probably just as surprised at the gunshots. 

Mark checks for the bullets in his revolver, looking as if he hadn't prepared himself before he came here. Taeyong watches him because looking at Johnny hurts his heart and it's probably how he's able to see Mark's face. The Raven captain looks over at Yuta and beckons him forward. Yuta follows, stepping forward.

"You want it to hurt for Johnny, don't you?" Mark asks and when Yuta nods, he gestures at Taeyong with his gun. "Kill him. That'll hurt where it should hurt."

Yuta's shock matches Taeyong's and he stutters when he speaks. "What? I'm not killing anyone, Mark."

"Are you a Raven?" Mark returns with another question, his smile gone. "You'll do as I say if you are a Raven."

"Yuta, don't do it," Johnny speaks up, hands trying to grip at the railing as if it would help him up. "You're angry with me. It's me. Kill _me._ He's got nothing to do with this. Please."

Mark glares at Johnny and he takes this chance to land a hard kick across Johnny's face, so brutal Johnny begins to splutter blood from his mouth.

Taeyong wants to get up because he thinks he can still fight this but his head is heavy and his fingers are numb. Yuta's hands are shaking as he takes the gun from Mark and Taeyong lets his eyes close for a moment. He thinks about Ty and wishes he'd been brave enough to hug him one last time.

When his eyes open again, Yuta is pointing the gun down at his face. He's still shaking but Mark is whispering in his ear, something intangible Taeyong couldn't catch. He flicks his gaze over at Johnny, and he thinks about their kisses and each moment they'd had in the past year. Johnny is crying. He doesn't think he'd ever seen Johnny cry. 

"Please, don't." Johnny begs, "Please. I beg you. Yuta, please! Kill me instead. It's my fault."

"Hurt him where it should," Mark says again, ignoring Johnny's begging, and it seems to be the only reminder Yuta needed.

He pulls the trigger the same time thunder booms across the sky. Taeyong jumps from the sound but there's no pain and he wonders briefly if he's dead. It starts to drizzle and he opens his eyes to the soft pats of water on his face and there's Johnny, in the same spot, crying and crying and crying. His gaze lifts to look at Yuta, whose hands are still shaking. He should move, probably. But everything hurts.

Mark is deceptively gentle as he guides Yuta's hands, helping with his aim and he whispers more things into Yuta's ear but Taeyong doesn't want to know anymore. Defeat feels different when he's laying on the cold hard ground and that sense of hopelessness heavier than it had ever been when he was laying in bed back at home, sixteen and exhausted. 

He looks at Johnny instead, wanting to remember him, hoping to remember _something_ if he has to go. Johnny is immobile and he'd lost his voice, but he mouths a silent _'I'm sorry'_ that makes Taeyong's heart hurt.

 _It's okay,_ he returns it, hoping Johnny could understand. _It's okay. I love you._

The gunshot is louder than his screams but the pain is all he could think about. Laying on his side, Yuta managed to shoot a hole through his abdomen and it's nothing like he had ever experienced before. Taeyong coughs, sputtering more blood that spills down his cheeks and Johnny is screaming again. His breathing is growing ragged, and it feels like something is blocking his throat. He gasps for air, for something, so he could hold on to his life. 

Mark smiles at this and Taeyong watches as he kisses Yuta. A reward, he said, for being good. He hears it when Mark tells Yuta to do it again, to finish him off, but Taeyong isn't looking at them anymore. He looks at Johnny instead but his eyes are growing heavy and he doesn't want to remember Johnny like this, if he could remember at all.

His phone is ringing. It's a distant sound in the middle of the pitter-patter of the rain. He knows it's Ty without even having to look. He'd been gone too long and Ty was looking for him. He wishes he'd said goodbye to his brother and thanked him for all those times he'd protected Taeyong. He thinks about all those times he wished they were closer but now he know no two brothers could be as close as they are. 

"Taeyong.." Johnny's voice permeates through the sound of the rain. 

Taeyong wants to look at him but his eyes are too heavy. He could only manage a brief glance at Johnny, who's still crying. He doesn't look up at Mark and Yuta. He refuses to. So he closes his eyes and he breathes in and out. Slowly, painfully. 

_It's not over until we're dead._

Then there was no pain at all. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


He was already on his way over when Coach called him. Ty knew from the moment Taeyong didn't pick up his phone at the second ring that something was wrong. He doesn't ever worry Ty this way. He always picks up at the first ring. 

_We're not dying tonight,_ Taeyong had said just before the game earlier. Ty repeats that in his head but it doesn't help the way his hands are shaking. They're shaking even as he takes off into a run, towards the direction of the bridge they frequented when they were younger. 

_We're not dying. We're not dying. We're not dying._

The first thing he sees when he finally slows to a stop once the bridge comes into view are the red and blue lights of an ambulance. His heart is thundering against his chest and the trembling of his hands intensified. Ty doesn't remember how to breathe. Fear is sickening and he's still capable of it.

He sees Johnny being tended to, his face pale and eyes dead. Ty knows a soulless shell of a man when he sees one; he sees it every morning when he wakes up and looks in the mirror. 

There's blood. Lots and lots of blood. Johnny's beaten up again, bruising in his face and bleeding from waist below. Ty doesn't care enough about him to ask. He sees Coach, grief-stricken but he doesn't have to ask when he sees it.

The body bag on the ground. 

Ty's shaking fingers are numb now. The police banner surrounds the area but they let him through when Coach tells them something he couldn't hear. He drops onto his knees and his hands continue to tremble, pulling down the zipper so he could see for himself what he refuses to believe.

It's not over until they're dead. 

The bag opens and inside lays his brother. Ty's heart stops beating at the sight. His fingers grip at the front of Taeyong's bloody shirt as he rakes his eyes over his features. There's a gash over his cheek, bloody mouth busted open, bruises that would last for days and a gunshot wound to his temple. 

Dead, dead, dead. He looks dead. He's _dead._

Tears fall down his cheeks. Something inside him wants to scream but he decides a second later that it's rage and loss and disappointment. He'd told Taeyong he wouldn't be harmed. _Not on my watch._ Now his brother is dead. 

He leans over, tightening his death grip around Taeyong's shirt as if that would bring him back and he presses his forehead to his twin's. His cries are silent despite the flow of tears that stain his face. He punches into the granite underneath, on his knees and bent over on the ground next to his dead brother, screaming into his fists that he pressed into the rough surface. 

Loss could only last briefly. More than that, Ty is angry. He gets on his feet and walks away from Taeyong. There's blood on his fingers but he doesn't care. Johnny must have been taken away in one of the ambulance because he's gone. Coach is there still but now so are the rest of the Foxes.

Each one of them is crying. Ty wants to punch someone. They would never know Taeyong or care about him the way Ty does, yet they cry for him like they ever cared. His sadness might return later but for now, Ty only knows rage.

"I know who killed my brother," He says, getting their attention but he looks at Coach specifically. "I'm going to kill him and my brother will have a funeral your son could only wish for. I hope he runs. I hope he doesn't get far."

Coach looks pale and the rest of the Foxes gasped in shock. Yukhei tries to reach for him but Ty's afraid he would hurt him if he let him come too close. So he shakes his head once and he returns to his brother, kneeling next to him and before zipping the bag up, Ty leans in close again and whispers to Taeyong a vow to end the lives of every person whose hands ever touched him. 

It doesn't matter where he ends up. 

It won't be over until he dies too. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated!! find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/johnyongcas) or [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/johnyongclub)!


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